Miscellaneous: Great idea!

Great idea!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 277

You deserved it 3 319

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Same thing different taste

Receipe ideas

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 155

OK Tyler Durden

By Anonymous - 13/06/2012 20:38 - Netherlands

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 912

You deserved it 2 556

By furious at five in the morning - 02/07/2012 12:36 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 403

You deserved it 4 114

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 238

You deserved it 4 350

By Tick - 20/08/2018 22:35

Today, I witnessed my first drunken bar brawl. Yes, my 54-year-old husband was one of the participants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 242

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 107

You deserved it 3 096

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 457

You deserved it 4 326

Betrayed

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 493

You deserved it 5 198

By anonymous - 14/01/2012 11:42 - Australia

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 3 655

windfuelsfire 10

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:22

It ain't legit if he spoke to you about it

buck33 14

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:22

First rule of fight club: don't talk about fight club.

Comments

albsure23 3

Sunday 11 March 2012 1:43

Good luck! It ain't gonna be the same with out Brad Pitt anyway!

KRiddle 15

Sunday 11 March 2012 1:59

DON'T talk about FIGHT CLUB!

PhilSchaffhouser 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 7:03

If you could give me your husbands name and phone #, thatd be great, tell him that im in.

Juicenub 25

Sunday 11 March 2012 12:32

This sounds like a classic Family Guy episode..

johnboyu 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 17:37

& the 1st rule of Fight Club is? You don't talk abou-

MusicallyGifted 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 5:50

Dude thats awesome XD LET THAT HAPPEN AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT XD

iSketz 3

Wednesday 14 March 2012 0:36

And you just broke the first rule...

Superlexi99 1

Wednesday 14 March 2012 6:48

is his name Robert Paulson? XD

rebelliousshroom 12

Wednesday 14 March 2012 6:55

He sounds awesome. Maybe you'll get to watch!

tattoofano 0

Monday 19 March 2012 18:28

sign me up!

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The Top

Today, my uncle died from COVID he contracted at church. During the service, his pastor got up and started talking about how proud he was that my uncle didn't let a pandemic stop him from going to worship. At the church. That gave him COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 201

Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 531

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 3 493

Today, my only friend confessed she loved me, but I’m not a lesbian so I had to let her down. Apparently she thought I was a lesbian too, so she ran away mortified. I just got a text that she can’t see me anymore, because it’s too painful. I have no relatives and now no friends. I’m totally alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 152

Today, after I mentioned my boyfriend on a cheesy Facebook quote, he told me to check the post. I then saw my old comment with my ex's name in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 2 964

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 702

You deserved it 69 546