Kids, Fight, Movies Public freakouts Great day out - FML

Great day out

Anonymous - 14/09/2013 19:32 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

escortedout - 23/10/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

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Movie night

ditched - 17/08/2009 19:49 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

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Cheyennereed - 17/02/2013 15:50 - United States - Shaw A F B

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

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wow, thanks - 18/08/2012 00:39 - United States - Seattle

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

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Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

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zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

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Weird simile but OK

fuck you, bitchcake - 10/11/2013 18:26 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

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Bratty son - 23/10/2012 04:25 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

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I mean, come on…

- 19/12/2025 20:00

Today, I went to see a movie but took my phone out a few times to check my socials. Apparently the asshole behind me didn’t like that, because he ripped my phone out of my hands, dropped it in my soda, then just sat back in his seat like nothing happened. FML

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Polite

mm - 12/11/2012 17:27 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

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Welshite 39

Sunday 15 September 2013 2:19

Well, movie popcorn is expensive.

pam241 15

Sunday 15 September 2013 2:20

And your son is now scarred for life.

mdcdeve 10

Sunday 15 September 2013 8:46

FML, the only place I read the word inconsolable an inordinate amount if times.

kumarina 35

Sunday 15 September 2013 9:06

I'm kinda psycho with my popcorn

sandy105 3

Sunday 15 September 2013 10:31

what a loser-stealing popcorn from someone else lol

beanthemouse 13

Sunday 15 September 2013 10:43

Wow!

beanthemouse 13

Sunday 15 September 2013 10:46

Sorry, I was getting confused with a similar story. Please ignore my comment and tell your husband to stop being a fatass.

YoloHobo2013 6

Sunday 15 September 2013 12:22

Your husband is a dumbass why didn't he just buy his own popcorn. The prick

2ru 14

Sunday 15 September 2013 13:55

I don't know what your husband was thinking but he stepped over the line and got pushed back.

goldens_fml 12

Sunday 15 September 2013 15:35

For your husband this is a definite YDI however for you and your son I am terribly sorry.

Ghazzie 7

Sunday 15 September 2013 19:44

Someone should have taught your son the manners you apparently did not.

Sheh_fml 25

Sunday 15 September 2013 21:15

Which part of "my HUSBAND kept stealing popcorn" makes you think the son is to blame?

Shade1982 20

Monday 16 September 2013 9:50

I think 91 didn't read properly...

fmlwty 1

Sunday 15 September 2013 20:54

Let me guess: you took your 6-year old son to see... "Insidious: The next chapter"?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

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Today, after I'd spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confessed she's a mental patient who stole someone else's identity. She was telling the truth. FML

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Today, my husband told me that he thinks I'm not doing real work because I laugh during online meetings. Sorry I'm not miserable all the time. FML

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Today, I was talking with a friend and somehow the topic of Albert Einstein popped up. He started referring to Einstein as American and I laughed. I then realized he was serious. My IQ has dropped even further from Einstein's as a result of this. FML

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Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

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Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

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