Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML
Today, I was on a business trip with a coworker. We had to wait for the train, so I decided to browse a store in the train station while he waited outside. I then got a message on my phone, from my co-worker saying, "You are somewhere on this train, right?" FML
Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
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Top comments
lenasaur 0
Are you stupid? Most people all over the world understand English because its everywhere- schools, media, etc.
Dillybar 0
Some lessons are learned the hard way.
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Comments (177)
allmidnighteyes 11
If you aren't gonna stay true to your word with the sexual comments, don't make 'em at all
darthj93 0
ydi for being stupid and insensitive I hope people make fun of you in another language
Electrus 0
Shame on you for making rude comments about people while in another country. You could be the only English-speaking person someone has ever met, and this is how you represent yourself to them? That creates a bias in them against all English-speaking people, because they'll always remember that one jerk - you.
iplaylax 0
precisely
shootingstar8D 0
You perv ydi
Antonio718 0
Very similar to the one about the swedish thing: http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/329882
peceout 29
Oh yeah. That happened to My uncle when he was younger. He commented how "big that woman was" and she replied with, "why thank You, i try". She got that confident soul. ( I'm swedish by the way)
uhoh1717 1
why would u think he couldn't speak English
DameGreyWulf 1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAaaa .... ha Actually, I would probably do the same. Sort of. I'd poke light fun... though certainly not loud and obnoxiously. Even if he didn't understand, someone else might, and let him know. I was about to say I'd make innuendo jokes too... but I can't see how you could, unless there was something specifically striking about him, or you had some inside joke to go on.
potatopeeler 0
You do realize English is taught almost everywhere with a school system, right...? And since he was a businessman, he's a lot more likely to be fluent in it.
ANTONKR 0
You are lucky he didn't beat you up. Usually that happens if you are in Moscow. Believe me i have been there for 8 years
Rajah723 0
I've been in Moscow my entire life, and I have only met a handful of men and women that actually beat someone up if they say something wrong.
cani_fml 0
should have stayed in your trailer instead of going to moscow.