Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and like every month, my husband goes through the wastebasket and checks my used pads for proof that I’m not lying about being on my period to get out of sex, all because once, I didn’t feel like having sex and said I was on my period, even though I wasn’t. He found out I lied because he saw my clean pad. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, I'm on my period and super bloated. My husband laid down next to me and said, "Hey pretty lady, wanna have a good time? Let me stick my pin in and let some of that air out", then made a deflating noise with a hand movement. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
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Top comments
happle 21
That's pretty nasty, but it seems like he would have learned his lesson.
Misshhh 23
Looks like he was caught.. Red handed... YEEEAAAAA xD
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Comments (187)
purrypie 9
Lesson learnt: when someone tells you their on their period, you better take that bloody seriously or you'll regret it. Lol :)
awilliams44 9
That's sexy
Kateyez_26 13
No it's not
CrazyGirlfriend 21
sarcasm or serious?
timss4 19
Lol in my experience, periods make women more in the mood but think men find it disgusting. Sucks for him in my opinion ha **** His Life
Kstruggles 15
And some women find their periods just as gross as men do. And some guys don't care.
timss4 19
I know of very few men who think periods are disgusting... Lol that's the farther into detail that I'm going but - yeah haha
monnanon 14
some women also feel a lot of pain while on their period. i know all of you will start saying it gets rid of cramps but sometimes its too painful to contemplate even starting.
amisenho 11
At least, for my boyfriend, period sex is just fine, but anal is out of the question. Like he always says, "No poo-poo on the pee-pee."
toneeangel 22
If he loves you(which I'm sure he does) he'll use his goldfish like memory and forget about it
timss4 19
2 way street lol just sayin
Enslaved 38
Goldfish are very stupid animals, with a memory span of just 5 seconds. It takes only 4.5 seconds to read this question. Could a goldfish answer this question?
speckledots 29
Just because they have a lack of memory doesn't make them stupid. you seem to be doing a pretty good job in that department, are you a goldfish?
Enslaved 38
Wait-- I'm confused. You just said goldfish aren't stupid and then asked if I was a goldfish because I'm stupid? Btw-- This was a popular quiz question off the Internet.
caysters 12
That's actually false about goldfish. Their memory lasts longer than just 5 seconds. You can actually train goldfish, if you have the patience.
nanjiii_fml 26
Ouch!!! >>> poor honey !!!
sammyjanette 17
Why do people suggest to just have sex during that time? Aren't most women uncomfortable on their periods? I get super debilitating cramps that I are so bad I usually just crawl up into a ball and sleep. Who would want to have sex during that time?
JOcoco 14
Not everyone has the same symptoms. When I'm on mine I just feel bloated and sore which is easily fixed by a warm bath and only lasts the first and second day. Meanwhile my sister has horrible debilitating cramps (like yours) that she needs to take painkillers for.
bethrocksya 9
Sex tends to make the cramps go away and it is usually what your body craves.. Whether you realize it or not. . Don't knock it till you try it! lol
monnanon 14
even knowing that it gets rid of cramps wouldnt make me do it if i was sore.
TisAPenguin 16
I take a Midol for the cramps, and my birth control makes my period pretty light, so it doesn't get messy. But, like someone else said, not everyone is the same.
KayleeFrye 39
Don't worry about it. It's a completely personal preference for every woman. Some women feel hornier during their periods, and for some it relieves the pain from cramps. Some women are in too much pain, or are just grossed out. Either way, do (or don't do) what's right for you. Personally, for me, I don't have a problem with the blood. I don't like to be intimate during my period simply because I feel bloated, and my skin breaks out so I feel as far from sexy and attractive as possible. Even with sweet guys who didn't care, I couldn't relax enough to enjoy it because I was so self conscious.
Epikouros 32
Are you a webcam girl, #137? I would never have sex if I waited until I felt attractive.
KayleeFrye 39
Haha, no, I'm not a web cam girl. A little perverted that THAT is the first thing that comes to your mind! No girl ALWAYS feels attractive. But if you find a good guy, when he looks at you right, you will feel like the most sexy, beautiful, sexy girl in the world, even if you're not.
kekti 6
that's what you get for not using tampons
magiczebra 9
Except its dangerous to leave a tampon in while you sleep.
ksks1234 33
56-- maybe her flow is way too heavy to wear a tampon, maybe she is one of the rare sufferers of TSS, maybe she just prefers pads. She told her husband, not her fault.
TisAPenguin 16
#64 I'd like to hear your reasoning on this. There are risks that come with using tampons in general, and that doesn't change just because you're sleeping.
magiczebra 9
Yes it does. You're not supposed to leave a tampon in for more than 8 hours at a time. Even if you change it right before bed, you can easily sleep over 8 hours. It's a lot safer to sleep with a pad.
magiczebra 9
How do you think you get toxic shock syndrome? From leaving a tampon in too long.
amisenho 11
That depends on the woman's flow. In my experiences, anyway, my flow is so heavy that I can't afford to NOT wear a heavy-flow tampon -- in addition to a heavy-flow pad -- when I go to bed. If I don't use both during my first three days, it usually results in incredibly-bloody sheets and ruined underwear. It's gotten so bad that I have to resort to wearing black undies or constantly bleach my white pairs just to avoid severe staining (and this is coming from using a Super + or Ultra-size tampon, which hold 15 to 18 grams each). For those with light or regular flows, it's not too big of a problem to use only a panty liner or such, but for those with extremely heavy flows, there's really no other choice other than the Pill or wearing adult diapers.
love_me_electric 20
165 - You should check out menstrual cups. They hold a lot of liquid before they start leaking and they're much safer than tampons because they're made of medical grade silicone (I believe you can wear up to 24 hours before TSS becomes an issue). Even on my heaviest days, I only have to wear a thin liner while I sleep. They're a godsend!
katilyn3 6
Tampons. Always tampons. lol
KawaiiCupcake 14
Not everybody likes to wear them! That is why there are choices!
Linaelle 14
Naaah. Mooncup all the way. It's a lot more sanitary than a tampon, and totally comfy once you get used to it ^^
askingandy 23
Sounds like he has no respect for you if he just sticks his hand down your pants like that..
magiczebra 9
How is that disrespectful? Depending on their relationship, it may be perfectly normal for him to do that and for her to enjoy it.
cryssycakesx3 23
not disrespectful at all...
drshn 22
Well you are too young, which you are, to understand or you must have met some feminist on the way. don't worry is not disrespectful at all but in this case the op clearly warned her husband and is just stupid
mageepaigeee44 15
What would meeting a feminist have to do with what they said? You're view on feminism is seriously ****** if you think that way.
quackImapenguin 16
There's this thing called "consent." It is necessary for a guy to attain it before doing sexual things with a woman even if they're married. He obviously didn't ask for consent before putting his hand in her pants, hence the disrespect.