Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and like every month, my husband goes through the wastebasket and checks my used pads for proof that I’m not lying about being on my period to get out of sex, all because once, I didn’t feel like having sex and said I was on my period, even though I wasn’t. He found out I lied because he saw my clean pad. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, I'm on my period and super bloated. My husband laid down next to me and said, "Hey pretty lady, wanna have a good time? Let me stick my pin in and let some of that air out", then made a deflating noise with a hand movement. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
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Top comments
happle 21
That's pretty nasty, but it seems like he would have learned his lesson.
Misshhh 23
Looks like he was caught.. Red handed... YEEEAAAAA xD
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Comments (187)
sexysaltshaker 11
I hope to god this doesn't get illustrated.
ballettillidie 8
That's bloody disgusting...
golden_warrior 23
You are not a man until you part the Red Sea
evan_7899 28
and like I say, "When the red river flows, take the muddy path"
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Like one of my ex girlfriends said, "I'm about to rub your nose in it".. And she did..
ForbiddenDestiny 20
You're not a man until there's blood on your sword x
Kateyez_26 13
#63 we all would've been better off without knowing that
incoherentrmblr 22
#78, the pen is mightier than the sword.
Beepbeep7 14
If he didn't pay attention before,I bet he does now.
tranced_ 45
or he was just messing around ?
perdix 31
Maybe he was trying to be like that Dutch boy who stopped the flow by putting his finger in the...no, wait...
Myo_fml 20
Am I the only one that still messes around while on mine? My bf doesn't care, we put down a towel.
klc20071989_fml 20
Exactly. Never stopped me and my gf.
Enslaved 38
Or just insert a tampon and you can stick with outer/foreplay.
legalizenow 16
No, you are not alone. Me and my girlfriend enjoy it.
drshn 22
No words to say.. Just ewww
softviking 12
Shower sex is seriously underrated, and that time of month is a perfect chabce to try it out
Sputnikspak 13
Nope. Except on the super-heavy days when it'd look like a murder scene. Put a towel down and go. Blood isn't any more gross than anything else that comes out of there.
CrazyGirlfriend 21
personally.. I don't like messing around with that entrance during my period but that doesnt mean you cant mess around in other ways :) it's all about personal preference.
amisenho 11
I would be more okay with it if the blood didn't dry me out as much. I don't know about other women, but, for me, blood tends to dry quicker and cause more friction (therefore, more pain) than naturally-produced lubricant.
akiahara 14
You're definitely not alone.
awkwardloveannie 28
maybe he didn't care? some people have sex on their periods
Dubai_fail 7
yuck ..disgusting!!
drshn 22
I thought girls did not like it
magiczebra 9
You kidding me? Sex can help with cramps, and you're usually more horny on your period.
TheBrochure 22
#87 - Many, not all.
Sputnikspak 13
#90 - As someone with chronic endo, THIS. I'm on meds that make me not have periods anymore, but when I was, I just didn't care. Female orgasms use the same muscles as cramps, which helps to relieve the pain. Also, baby wipes. Never underestimate the baby wipes.
carbivore 10
#87-A lot of women are only averse to period sex because we've been brainwashed our entire lives to think that our bodies (and ESPECIALLY our periods) are gross, dirty, and shameful. Really, it's totally fine and natural. I know I felt that way for the longest time.
EvilLittleMan 23
From goldfish to piranha.
Jasmeent11 15
**** his life. It's his fault though!