By Anonymous - 25/6/2020 08:08

This is America

Today, I found out a test I need to see if I need surgery on my gallbladder costs more than my pay check, even with insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1521

You deserved it

98

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Messed up

Near the knuckle

By deranged - Ukraine - Pirogov

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3909

You deserved it

455

Tweet

Share

By AdriBAMF - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44189

You deserved it

7743

Tweet

Share

By caltech - United States - San Jose

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31024

You deserved it

2071

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Twinsburg

Today, I was pulled aside by my father's new wife and told, "You're not your dad's favorite anymore and you need to stop acting like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

9334

You deserved it

596

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30955

You deserved it

9851

Tweet

Share

By stupidsantaclaus - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15837

You deserved it

41761

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28404

You deserved it

5595

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8010

You deserved it

100284

Tweet

Share

By Annonymous - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26251

You deserved it

1902

Tweet

Share

By Carolina R-h

Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1619

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By CyberPsycho - United States - Nashville

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12053

You deserved it

6061

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/7/2020 20:00

Let me in!

Today, I was turned away from a private event by security for being a girl. My name is Max; the name on the guest list was Max, but the security meathead insisted Max can only be a man's name and threw me out of the building. I was the event's key lecturer, and without me the event was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2023

You deserved it

156

Tweet

Share

By muddygal - United States

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37102

You deserved it

3795

Tweet

Share

By 1nfected - Canada

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous co-worker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added the color was fitting perfectly with my acne... I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49228

You deserved it

3612

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13066

You deserved it

28685

Tweet

Share

By Whateversz - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37939

You deserved it

3719

Tweet

Share

By CUCKOO - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48248

You deserved it

5024

Tweet

Share

By figures - United States

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37533

You deserved it

2376

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 20:01

Sore

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in 2 weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2229

You deserved it

232

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Vista

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35749

You deserved it

5702

Tweet

Share

By bxjxj - United States

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35131

You deserved it

3199

Tweet

Share

By Bitch

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I was cheating on him. Surprised, I replied "No, Tim, of course not!" This might have been more convincing if I'd called my boyfriend by his own name, instead of the name of the guy I'm cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

441

You deserved it

10342

Tweet

Share

By veebenjoo - United States

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35827

You deserved it

4302

Tweet

Share

By Angry and Confused - United States - Reno

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53000

You deserved it

2940

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5680

You deserved it

390

Tweet

Share

By crapcrapcrap - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30034

You deserved it

4751

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43437

You deserved it

4499

Tweet

Share

By Kevin

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2168

You deserved it

372

Tweet

Share

By purpletrout - United States - Lansing

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10300

You deserved it

1044

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/2/2020 14:00

My alarm

Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1838

You deserved it

216

Tweet

Share

By NoNaMe - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10604

You deserved it

75032

Tweet

Share

By jacobianscum - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, after 3 months of successful business at my restaurant, sales are down the shitter. Why? Because some no-life troll started posting loads of bad reviews online. He uses different names, but nothing in the reviews has ever happened. We can't get the reviews taken down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27420

You deserved it

1616

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40868

You deserved it

9497

Tweet

Share

By dantko - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50012

You deserved it

5292

Tweet

Share

By OneGirlsLife - United States - Spartanburg

Today, it was supposed to be my birthday dinner with two of my friends. They're both now bringing their boyfriends, so I get to be the fifth wheel to my own birthday dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4792

You deserved it

353

Tweet

Share

By jonhapimp - United States

Today, I found out that my Mom had taken out a loan out on my car from the repo man taking my car away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31874

You deserved it

2452

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28960

You deserved it

9337

Tweet

Share

By reginaphalange - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44715

You deserved it

3308

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53786

You deserved it

5327

Tweet

Share

By paulinapo - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50203

You deserved it

9796

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ojoRojo | 23

#7916391 - Thursday 25 June 2020 14:43

I love how we can assume you’re from the US because it’s the only place where healthcare would be so atrocious. Sorry OP, that’s terrible.

By FireMars | 13

#7916369 - Thursday 25 June 2020 12:24

This is why I'm glad I live in the UK. Healthcare shouldn't bankrupt you.

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 28

#7916331 - Thursday 25 June 2020 8:38

Most personal bankruptcies in America are due to medical bills. Join the club!

Maybe Lee Greenwood could add a verse about that.

By FireMars | 13

#7916369 - Thursday 25 June 2020 12:24

This is why I'm glad I live in the UK. Healthcare shouldn't bankrupt you.

By ojoRojo | 23

#7916391 - Thursday 25 June 2020 14:43

I love how we can assume you’re from the US because it’s the only place where healthcare would be so atrocious. Sorry OP, that’s terrible.

By Hangryko | 17

#7916415 - Thursday 25 June 2020 16:20

America really needs universal healthcare. Nobody should go bankrupt from accessing essential medical services. What a fucking travesty. I'm thankful I'm Canadian.

By Christina Winden | 18

#7916441 - Thursday 25 June 2020 19:04

Do the test. Give them what you can each month, even if it’s only $5. They can’t really take you to collections as long as you’re paying something.

By Brightside86 | 21

#7917064 - Sunday 28 June 2020 6:31

True, but amazing that we have access to modern medical care at all. I wonder what they would do if this happened 300 years ago...