Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML
Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the Crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
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Top comments
musiqmast3r 0
Yea you deserved that. Totally
g00nie 0
I'm sorry, but this is freaking hilarious!!! You should've thought to ask him about it first. I mean, it is his work. I have no artistic talent, but if I did, and someone took one of my drawings and used it as a tattoo without my permission, I'd be a little upset
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Comments (219)
monkeycaca69 0
FAGGGGGG!
monkeycaca69 0
can you come over and i'll just bang you
DrunkenValor 0
I'd love to bang you Monkeycaca, take me rough and grab my ass.
Starchild21 3
I guess this is where FML turns into a "cybersex" hotspot hahah __________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
hockeyfml555 0
where the **** is plexi??? he can destroy this moron
Witchcraft_fml 5
You sure are mature, #57. Go play with your Tonka trucks.
monkeycaca69 0
AWWW thanks have a good one man:)
Nikster 0
oh man that totally sucks
DrunkenValor 0
Talkin' about pimping on the late night news!? My fave has to be 'VERY THIN ICE, VERY THIN ICE!'
allmidnighteyes 11
Surely you jest, I'm under cardiac arrest. Shawtay!
DrunkenValor 0
Wah, it wasn't in reply to you! Nor was my other comment. I hate FML. Just remember these four words, Jobs, jobs, jobs and jobs, lets vote for jobs! Those in favour say aye, those against nay. HELL NO, HELL NO, HELL NO, HELL NO, HELL NO.
ayy 0
Sooo...????
DrunkenValor 0
You got it wrong Toxi, people want to -**** his face- I know I do.
AJthegreenkiwi 0
ok to all the people that say " do you know how awful your tattoos are going to look when your 60?" do you people expect a 60 year old to walk around in tank tops and shorts to show them off? and also if my body is my temple then i will graffiti said temple all i god damn want too. to the op, you really shoud have checked with your boyfriend first as it was his artwork.
visage 0
I love tramp stamps.. gives me something to aim for IF I decide to pull out! And to think I thought no two were the same!!!!
notapplicable123 0
lol tattoos. I'm fine with them, but they look all gross when your skin starts sagging from old age. YDI.
ithedarkone 0
lol that sucks my guess you were trying to surprise him... with it lol Well if its a cool tattoo and i mean you really like how it looks its not that bad...