Today, I’m not sure what to call it, but I think I just got COVID-SWATted when a bunch of police turned up to my house after someone told them I was partying with over 50 people, breaking social distancing. In a one-bed flat, with barely enough room for 3 people to sit down at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a hotel room for myself and 4 friends to have a great night out in town. The couple of the group had a huge argument, ruining the evening, then another friend took of in the middle of the night, and to top it off we all ended up catching Covid. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I found out I have Covid. Also, the police kicked me out of the hotel I'm quarantining in. This is still not my worst birthday. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found out that people in the apartment to the left, in the one to the right and in the one above mine all tested positive for Covid, a week ago. FML
Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house, despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML
Today, I’m sick with COVID and got so exhausted from changing my rank, sweaty bed sheets, that I had to lie down. I then had a sudden coughing fit that made me shit my pants, right through to the freshly-changed bed, and I then burst into tears about it. I’m 34 years-old. FML
Today, police knocked on my door in middle of the night. They said there was a fire in one of the houses in our street, so they were evacuating houses. They wouldn’t let me go back and get dressed. As I was only in my underwear, they told me I could wait in their car. FML
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Probably someone who wasn't invited to the party.
Marcella1016 32
You might even call it an acute case of being obtuse. Sorry I realize I don’t really fit in. I guess because I’m pretty square. And now I’m going off on a tangent. Let’s circle back on this tomorrow.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Having 50 people in a one-bedroom "flat" is a super-spreader event! You shouldn't be doing that.
Bogrbon 27
I believe he's saying that the very idea he had 50 people there is ridiculous as even 3 wouldn't fit.
kfchicken 31
I believe the original comment is 100% sarcasm
RichardPencil 32
I'm being obtuse.
Marcella1016 32
You might even call it an acute case of being obtuse. Sorry I realize I don’t really fit in. I guess because I’m pretty square. And now I’m going off on a tangent. Let’s circle back on this tomorrow.
RichardPencil 32
You might be... ...wait on it... ...right. If you laughed at that, it's a sine you may be irrational.
Marcella1016 32
Hmm I guess I’ll cosine that statement... It was a little derivative but it seemed to add up.
RichardPencil 32
This punning is spiraling way more than normal -- I might end up in L'Hopital!
noporn4u 9
This whole story arc is a slippery slope.
raven_of_azarath 35
I’m living for the these puns right now lmao
genuinegoodguy 9
So someone is stirring it. Do you know who?
RichardPencil 32
Probably someone who wasn't invited to the party.