Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML
Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
Nice use of the word scuttled.
amerwin 3
You could have least gotten an actual free coffee out of him, instead of stealing your coworker's.
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Comments (211)
Judus_beej 0
age is just a number. loser.
Twistedsoul_fml 0
not if the person is more than double ur age idiot if u were 30 eould u wana go out with someone over 60? I don't think so unless u are mentily f***ked up wich clearly u are
skyeyez9 24
Him standing next to Theodore Roosevelt in the pic didn't raise any warning signs? No? Anyone? Bueller......
boomboombitch 3
nobody gives a shit that you know what spluttered and scuttled means, ur a pathetic bitch by the way
nerdsgetmehot 22
#138 Are you just bitter because you don't know what either of those words mean?
DocBastard 38
Wow. Ok. Time to switch to decaf.
stormzaii 0
umm. It's pretty difficult to say someone is a "pathetic bitch" because she has standards. Standards ?! That BITCH! **** off.
gigilvrs6 0
You should have at least gotten to know him better…F the old man's L
skyeyez9 24
I am 32, and would prefer a guy between the ages of 29-39. If a 63 yr old man walked in and was like "Errrr sorry about lying about my age." I'd be pissed. I don't want to date someone that old.
chekeita 0
pahaha
MidgetMonster 0
if he can't even produce an honest picture, my God. Good for her...he deserves to be walked out on.
kateeeh 0
wth?! he culda had $$$$!!!!
Hopersz 0
Lol #138 is only cranky because he can't get laid or hasn't had some pussy. Hahaha oh and by the way, your grammar suck's.
mschrisaya 4
Your still a bitch