By Anonymous - 31/1/2021 02:01

Eco-friendly

Today, my colleague heated 1,5 liters of water, waited visibly impatient the several minutes it took to boil, made himself one cup of tea, then poured the rest down the drain. Maximum amount of time and energy wasted in one go? Check. FML

I agree, your life sucks

769

You deserved it

88

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Walk on the wild side

Roommate from hell

By gross - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28208

You deserved it

3948

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/2/2021 17:01 - Sweden - G?teborg

PS I Love You

Today, I had a group project on Zoom with some classmates I'm not so familiar with. When we were done and said our goodbyes, I said, "Bye bye, I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

549

You deserved it

272

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28255

You deserved it

3807

Tweet

Share

By kagan

Today, the only food in the house is canned beans and vegetables that I can’t stand. My dad refuses to go to the store because, "we can't afford it." Meanwhile, my stepmom just came home with a brand new Gucci purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1956

You deserved it

142

Tweet

Share

By Myself - United States

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38330

You deserved it

16940

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43884

You deserved it

7221

Tweet

Share

By Fmyhair - Norway

Today, I colored my hair. It was supposed to turn out blonde, but it became more a mix of red and brown and blonde patches. When I tried coloring everything back, a green tint was added. My hair is at the moment red, brown, blonde and green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42152

You deserved it

38205

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I woke up with really sore abs; not from working out at the gym, but because I've been coughing for 3 days straight and nothing is helping. Now every time I cough, it physically hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1441

You deserved it

114

Tweet

Share

By avaiia - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14636

You deserved it

1578

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Sounds illegal

Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1834

You deserved it

113

Tweet

Share

By FML - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30342

You deserved it

3261

Tweet

Share

By redneckfamily - United States - Roy

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39900

You deserved it

3659

Tweet

Share

By Scapegoat

Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3279

You deserved it

274

Tweet

Share

By idiot - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11537

You deserved it

40192

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had one of my biggest dance shows ever. After months of practice I had finally gotten the lead position. When I entered the stage and raised my arms my straps fell down and I flashed an audience of 5000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4514

You deserved it

417

Tweet

Share

By Anownimous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24674

You deserved it

5622

Tweet

Share

By Telley21 - United States - Rexburg

He had to find out eventually!

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7102

You deserved it

485

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45302

You deserved it

4214

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3146

You deserved it

368

Tweet

Share

By severedface - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41230

You deserved it

5349

Tweet

Share

By wolfwolfy - Canada

Today, I was on a first date. When the bill came, he refused to pay for my $6 salad. I had to go ATM-hunting to pay for my $6 salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33994

You deserved it

13183

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23459

You deserved it

5708

Tweet

Share

By tooearly - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39913

You deserved it

3356

Tweet

Share

By nipman - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41096

You deserved it

3840

Tweet

Share

By chinchilla4404 - United States

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25113

You deserved it

72093

Tweet

Share

By CollegeKid

Today, I was in the hospital for 12 hours with unbearable stomach pain. Apparently I have a horrible infection in my intestines and colon. My mom is now accusing me of having anal sex and allowing a man to ejaculate into my bum. My great-grandma believes her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10344

You deserved it

713

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31287

You deserved it

7476

Tweet

Share

By slypher25aussie - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27520

You deserved it

2361

Tweet

Share

By "taelor14"

Today, after boarding my flight, the flight attendant looked at me and said that I had to sit elsewhere because I had to be over 14 to sit near the emergency exit. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4296

You deserved it

294

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my sister gave me a early Christmas present. It's lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6466

You deserved it

490

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Mission

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21591

You deserved it

5161

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48496

You deserved it

4040

Tweet

Share

By hardlyworking - United States

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7640

You deserved it

37639

Tweet

Share

By Sammy - United States

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24923

You deserved it

13872

Tweet

Share

By Gen - France

Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30689

You deserved it

7458

Tweet

Share

By daughter of a gullible cunt - Australia

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39648

You deserved it

2662

Tweet

Share

By yapDogs - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29752

You deserved it

2366

Tweet

Share

By Sarahfizzeller - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34555

You deserved it

3371

Tweet

Share

By Greatgrandpa - Curacao

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32915

You deserved it

2824

Tweet

Share

By Duplighost - United States

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24711

You deserved it

39947

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By tounces7 | 27

#7968290 - Sunday 31 January 2021 3:53

Is this supposed to be an FML for him for lacking efficiency? Or for having a coworker who's that concerned with what he does with his time?

By BatCatTaco | 10

#7968300 - Sunday 31 January 2021 4:40

I bet he's in management...

COMMENTS

By peterblack67 | 9

#7968283 - Sunday 31 January 2021 2:33

And??

By tounces7 | 27

#7968290 - Sunday 31 January 2021 3:53

Is this supposed to be an FML for him for lacking efficiency? Or for having a coworker who's that concerned with what he does with his time?

By BatCatTaco | 10

#7968300 - Sunday 31 January 2021 4:40

I bet he's in management...

By RichardPencil | 29

#7968309 - Sunday 31 January 2021 6:47

Almost a full kWh, and without knowing the wattage of the heating element, I can't guess the time wasted.

By ghostinflames | 13

#7968340 - Sunday 31 January 2021 9:26

oh