Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LoLoLo_fml 0
I agree with #11 and I think that old lady had a great sense of humour! XD
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
Do you feel bad for being overly dramatic about choking on your water?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (38)
nado13579 12
I agree, but how can we be living and dying at the same time? :3
JenniferTheDark 0
More MLIA-worthy than FML.
MwahFMLS 6
Geez, #27 don't get your panties in a wad.
Suzy456 2
Lol I've had the same thing happen to me
DJ_Chutfield 4
She was joking too, guys. God damn.
stevenmx86 8
I don't understand what part of this is so bad... ?
ammerhammer 3
That's awful
CougeeSwagg 19
That old lady has my respect. YOLO for days!
thatfangirl 8
I don't really think this is fml worthy. so what, You choked on water and a lady made a joke. Big deal.
LyricaSilvan 30
Technically we're all slowly dying. I believe the proper term for it is "aging."