Health, Food and Miscellaneous: Damn

Damn

By zzzgrady - 27/10/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 4 142

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 20:56 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 941

You deserved it 8 576

By f*ck - 06/03/2015 17:41 - Australia - Reynella

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 753

You deserved it 19 735

By itsthebestdayoftheyear - 22/12/2015 12:30 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 658

You deserved it 1 533

By aquagoddess - 03/07/2018 19:00

Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 737

You deserved it 264

By Z'ev - 05/04/2013 16:34 - United States - New York

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 479

You deserved it 10 036

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 209

You deserved it 30 426

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 11:17 - United States

Today, I forgot to bring my lunch to work. I got so hungry, I resorted to eating antacid tablets from the medicine cabinet for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 236

You deserved it 6 318

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 05:43 - United States

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 691

You deserved it 3 885

Hangry

By Broke as hell - 07/04/2020 23:00

Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 154

You BASTARD!

By moosemay - 02/04/2013 15:04 - Germany

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 730

You deserved it 4 400

cheapluxury 4

Wednesday 27 October 2010 9:27

Rage against the machine??

luis01 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 9:18

I hate when that happens

Comments

Milly143 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:03

"the only thing that makes me happy". a little dramatic, aren't we?

califormula 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:49

peanut butter cups are horrible for acid reflux! moron

goalie001 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:54

sounds like a fatass "food makes me happy yum yum yum"

amglenn 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 18:23

If you have acid reflux, reese's only make it way worse! So apparently it wasn't meant for you to have it!

CokeDicer 1

Friday 29 October 2010 6:57

Sorry u had a bad night. But seriously, if that was the worst night of your life, then you have had a rather good life my friend.

mpphish 0

Friday 29 October 2010 20:55

if that's the worse night of your life, you should be thankful

alexvegaboy 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:42

do a bruce lee moment and kick it .

starfish7 18

Saturday 20 November 2010 9:34

should have gone for a salad...

MeatSucks777 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 5:25

reeses PB cups is the best chocolate ever created!!

ArielTheMermaid 17

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:24

for once I can see how this is an FML *nods approvingly* Reeses ftw

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The Top

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 773

You deserved it 10 107

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 88

Today, I made my brother go to the grocery store to get some frozen pizzas. Ten minutes after he left, the power cut out. Still no power. Still hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 461

You deserved it 3 957

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 073

You deserved it 10 624

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 309

You deserved it 4 278

Today, I got detention from my teacher for not handing an assignment in. It would be understandable if I hadn't handed it in a week before it was due. She won't listen to reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 1 848

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 581

You deserved it 3 533