Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML
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Top comments
vanadesse 0
YDI for buying a five hundred dollar dress.
vee_baby 0
Is that where you keep your ego? YDI.
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Comments (252)
m0nicam0nster 0
#9 STFU who cares, they ARE first jealous biatch....
yeahreally 6
ok $500...buy some other clothes...that wont make you look pregnant...call me crazy but im sure you'll find something
Raiden_Franz 0
LOL #11 WINS!!!!! xDDD
MakinBacon 0
#42: When you post something on FML, you are asking to be judged.
IanVreug 0
At least all of the guys though you were good looking!
bbabyyxO 0
That's why you should only spend 500 dollars on something like shoes. They'll never make you look pregnant. [;
lily__fml 0
real bad thing in it is that you may have missed an opportunity with the cute guy who thought you're pregnant!
Kitty34_fml 0
I think YDI because $500 is ridiculous to spend on a dress, no matter how good you look in it.
sh0es 0
Exactly, 46 ... Like 29, I can't justify spending that much on my wedding dress ... YDI, especially when you get laid off and have to sell all your overpriced clothes to pay rent.
Lauriebug 0
the reason people think it's ridiculous to buy a $500dress as opposed to spending the same on a computer or a vacation: there are much cheaper, and just as lovely, dresses to be had at say even $50. whereas you can not get a $50 computer or vacation.