Today, my wife and I were looking online at the house her piano teacher is selling. When she said, "Oh the bedroom looks much larger with the furniture gone," a long awkward silence followed. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
Today, my wife told me not to rush her during packing for our upcoming move. She's lived in the house for 30 years and apparently needs to reminisce over every single item. FML
Today, the room I am renting from an old lady is stuffed with porcelain figures, etc. I carefully put them into the drawers to create some space for the books I need for college. While I was gone, she used her key and put all the porcelain figures back on the shelves. FML
Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML
Today, after our housing offer was accepted, I told my parents. The only response was, “That’s a much nicer house than I had when I got married, I hope you can afford furniture.” Thanks mom. FML
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
Today, my wife texted me, saying an expensive piece of furniture had been delivered. I specifically said, "Wait until I get home and we'll put it together." An hour later, she opened it and broke it beyond repair while trying to assemble it herself. FML
Today, I took a good look, and I mean a really good look around the house and I realized that if I simply threw away all my wife’s useless crap she bought and hasn’t used in years, or even unwrapped from the plastic, we could probably move into a smaller, cheaper house. FML
Today, my husband thought I might want to get intimate. I've never seen someone vacate a room so quickly. FML
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Top comments
manb91gb 15
I think he was giving her privates lessons…
RichardPencil 30
Gives a hole new meaning to "tickling the ivories." I meant to write "whole" ... or did I ;) ?
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Comments (2)
manb91gb 15
I think he was giving her privates lessons…
RichardPencil 30
Gives a hole new meaning to "tickling the ivories." I meant to write "whole" ... or did I ;) ?