Animals, Cats and Health: Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 814

You deserved it 72 129

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Same thing different taste

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 799

You deserved it 4 967

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 378

You deserved it 15 346

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 3 860

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 103

You deserved it 2 479

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 2 715

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 250

You deserved it 4 192

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 1 844

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 780

You deserved it 9 643

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 311

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 850

You deserved it 4 554

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

Comments

deathtoallwhodie 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:32

ok first off why is everyone tlking about how to wash his cat or this counts as molestation no no. #1 u sir are a dumbass have you even watched cartoons yeah u dont take a shower with your cat let alone naked, i think the face on your cat that says "get me wet and i'll cut ur dick open" was a heads up to not do it but nooooo go right ahead nothing bad will happen ur cat never wanted you to get laid anyway

wordgirl 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:33

Dude. Cats hate water. What planet are you from?

katewasherexx 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:36

Don'tcha know that cats hate water? Common knowledge.

made_of_fail 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:38

And this seemed like a good idea at the time? PLEASE allow yourself to wake up before you try to think. KTHXBAI.

katewasherexx 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:39

Don'tcha know that cats hate water? Common knowledge.

GatorBites 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:45

8 inches? I think you might be exagerating.

soxwin04and05 0

Friday 4 September 2009 3:55

Cats hate water dumb ass, YDI... besides shouldn't the real FML be how you had to describe to the doctor how you got cat scratches on your manparts?

clockworklolita 3

Friday 4 September 2009 4:03

To everybody insisting that all cats hate water - plenty of cats like water. In fact, there are some breeds that are known for absolutely loving water in general, like Bengals. But in general, even cats that like water will go beserk when it's forced on them, for example, by being shoved into the shower by a naked man.

rock_the_dreams 2

Friday 4 September 2009 4:09

YDI foe washing your cat

Rosalind_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 4:14

I wash both of my cats naked, once a month. There are two ways to do it safely, but trim their nails first. 1. Have the cat's tummy flat against your chest, their head past your shoulder. press them against yourself with one hand, soap them with the other. when you need to wash their stomach, I usually hold their forearms together to do that. 2. Might be easier. I press them against the bathtub, wet them, turn off water, soap, turn on water, wash off soap. viola! My cats rather cling on me when I wash them so they're less scared, but I like method 2 more.