Health, Relatable and Awkward: Catch me!

Catch me!

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 00:01

Today, like every month, I have to play hide and seek. Every month? Yeah. My cervix somehow moves around inside me, and if I want to bleed into my menstrual cup and not around it, I have to find and catch my cervix first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 146

Health Relatable Awkward

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 13:55 - Australia

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 944

You deserved it 34 011

Corkscrew

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 15:01 - United States - Carson City

Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. I couldn't get it out, after what seemed like ages of trying. I had to ask my boyfriend to help me. He'll never look at me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 190

My body hates me

By How? - 09/10/2022 22:30

Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 125

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 741

You deserved it 4 681

By hellolaina - 27/06/2016 16:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 922

You deserved it 1 389

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 349

You deserved it 3 052

By angryman - 28/12/2014 09:07

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 767

You deserved it 8 105

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 18:20 - United States - Burlington

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 388

You deserved it 2 957

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 175

By SaucierGirl - 12/08/2018 03:30

Today, I was told that since I've had only three or four periods since 2013, there's 60 periods worth of blood clotted in my uterus. They gave me medicine to make it all come out in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 172

You deserved it 307

bleachedraven 14

Friday 30 July 2021 1:21

It seems like a cleaner solution to menstrual bleeding than other options, not sure why it would be viewed as disgusting. Just my opinion.

Doom_Kitty 12

Friday 30 July 2021 1:18

Uhm...why? Everything that you're able to learn about these should actually lead to the exact reverse conclusion. It's the most hygienical solution for menstruating women.

Comments

Darlene King 3

Friday 30 July 2021 0:26

Ha ha ha; I had a mental picture of you on a horse with one of those rodeo ropes going "Yeehaw"!

CTscan 8

Friday 30 July 2021 1:01

ewww that's one thing I find disgusting is the menstrual cup

Doom_Kitty 12

Friday 30 July 2021 1:18

Uhm...why? Everything that you're able to learn about these should actually lead to the exact reverse conclusion. It's the most hygienical solution for menstruating women.

bleachedraven 14

Friday 30 July 2021 1:21

It seems like a cleaner solution to menstrual bleeding than other options, not sure why it would be viewed as disgusting. Just my opinion.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 30 July 2021 1:27

Just yell, "Ollie, ollie, in come free" and your cervix will have to come out. Ick.

slkeithh 14

Friday 30 July 2021 2:54

Uhhhh. What

ekk100 8

Friday 30 July 2021 12:39

Ok, so your menstrual cup shouldn't be anywhere near your cervix, it should sit above the ridge of muscle in your ****** and collect the blood by blocking the entire area of the ******. It sounds like either you aren't using the right size of menstrual cup, it's not fully unfolding once you put it in, the little pin holes are blocked, or you haven't cut enough of the stem off so it's being moved around as you walk.