A new friend

By puzzled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 156
You deserved it 3 305

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Yea we dont speak English as a first language in the USA.

Other wise known as a ROLLY POLLY! xD


hahaha winn

mexicantumblewee 0

that's good eating

how the **** did it get in your mouth, OP?

did it taste nice?

yall do know they are a good source of protein right?

once I was walking past some trees on a very windy day. I don't know why but I was walking with my mouth open. suddenly I felt something under my tongue. I spat it out and saw what looked like a baby centipede or something wriggling in my saliva.

thikimo 0

a wood louse looks like a hardcore rolly polly

toni27 0

what's a woodlouse?????

snickerfudles 0


FireNinja 3

what the heack is a wood loose??

are you joking? it's a little insect, really ugly.. looks like a ladybird without wings

GeorgeBoosh 0

The OP has been sucking on someone's 'wood'. Ha ha ha

lol 99 ^_^

i just googled it Dx


ehbabeyyyXxx 0

nastyyy lol tho

99 is pure win

yup 99 won

vrock 0

99 didn't make THAT funny of a joke, it wasn't "epic"

I have absolutely no idea how it got in my mouth. I'd been outside all day but it wasn't like I was rolling around on the ground or anything! Maybe it was on my toothbrush but then I prob would have noticed so who knows!?

I'm sorry that happened to you that's horrible

renaet 0

Is this the same thing as a rollie pollie?

nice try so so sunshine but next time make a new account that has a similar name as th Op

Vrock: Don't troll like Snickerdoodles... The wood joke was pretty funny and the comments prove you wrong.

it's a rollpolly thing woodlice my sound more familiar

What d'you mean, 'nice try'? What on earth would I be trying to achieve in pretending to be the OP? Who does that? Regardless, if there are people who do such things, I'm not one of them. I forgot to log in when I posted it (actually I forgot I'd created an account since I'd never posted/commented before) but it seems you have to log in to reply. When did everyone become so cynical - no one ever accepts anything at face value anymore. If I were ever to become Queen of the World I would ban cynicism forever. Give me naivity anyday; it makes the world a nicer place. As long as you stay savvy about the things that matter, of course. And if you're going to pick on the fact that it says I'm from Worcestershire in my post and Cambridgeshire on my profile, I have no idea why it says that, but we all know it gets it wrong sometimes. Apart from anything else, why on earth would I want to pretend to be someone who had a woodlouse in their mouth?

lol same here fml

is that like head lice or something?

soccerpringles 0

To soso sunshine, do you know how ridiculous and immature you seem? Its quite obvious your not the OP. And by the looks of your picture its also quite obvious you have no life resulting in you having more than enough time to pretend to be the OP. Hell even the fantasy "if I were queen of the world, id....." line shows you have no life and are in Lala land. Thankyou and goodbye

EmoOrange 0

99=win :D

Oh...calling someone immature seems kinda funny coming from you, being you have pink hair.

jordanshawt 0

ewwww sorry

wait, what's a woodloose?

wickett55 2

That is the technical term for what most people call either a rolly polly, or pill bug.

You're supposed to swallow the pill... not spit it out

NeonWar__ 0

some people call them slaters.

sublime93 0

93... lol.

"makes mental note of pill bug joke fail"

If you don't know what it is then search it on google an image will come up then you know what it is

@50-you replied to the wrong comment.

ShallowWerewolf 0

wtf is a woodlouse? lol apparently its bad so fyl

I ask the same question... what is a woodlouse exactly?

ShallowWerewolf 0

ahh that clears it up lol yeah fhl

poooook 0

no it's a tick!

how can you not know what a woodlouse is? You probably live somewhere hot and dry :S Anyway its a DISGUSTING insect that like dark damp places and usually hides under plant pots and shit It's also a pill bug if you know what that is

pill bug = potato bug? xD I think there's too many names for this thing (Thats what we call it in UT though)

I think most people that don't know what a woodlouse is are from countries that don't have English as an official language. Just like me. I'm from Brazil and we speak Portuguese as our first and only language.

Yea we dont speak English as a first language in the USA.

fretforyerlatte 0

i've always called them potato bugs too.

1zinzanzin 0

lol a woodlouse is sortof a small turtle but grey and loads a legs

@ febag, I'm from the US and English is our official language.. I don't know what the hell a woodlouse is. if it's a potato bug, then I know what OP is talking about.

CyclonePsycho 1

People probably don't recognize the word "woodlouse" because most people don't really call them that. I didn't know what a woodlouse was until someone above mentioned a roley poley being one. Then I understood.

maybe it's just in the UK then..? because all the brits I know call then woodlice. *shudders* sorry but i really hate them :(

Hahaha. A sort of small turtle? You've just confused the hell out of anyone who's not so bright. Well done.

And you just made me tick.

quikwit1212 0

^And you probably want a lick, but girls can't do that over the internet, and since I'm a guy, I'm not like that.

@ TheRipper and px, well, that was just my hypothesis, since people from all over the world come to this website. I had no way to know that the term used was not common in America :) I just found out what it was after I put it on Google.

it's kinda oval shaped and grey with lots if legs. and if you poke them they roll into a ball :D

@156 Alexis_peace, I love your hair!!

Other wise known as a ROLLY POLLY! xD

MilliIshAwesome 0

I'm from America and I didn't know what that was o_O


Go Utah! Whooooo

CrizzyCream 1

Thank u.! I'm lookin at these comments like where yal comin upp wit these dumb names noone uses.! XD Rolly polly

CrizzyCream 1

Its called a rolley polly where i'm from. Theyy like moist places dark places. Check under ur doormat around spring whenn it rains. I honestly don't think their that badd. It coulda beena roach...:/

I think you all mean a ******* rolly polly.


Or you can be from Texas? Where it's hot and dry? Where ticks don't live?

Eww sux at least it wasnt sone kind of poisonus insect!! I ddnt know wat a woodlouse was till I googled it but in florida we call them rolly pollies!! Cuz they roll up in a lil ball....

Technically America doesn't have an official language... FYI

They are known as slaters over here in Australia.

I have never heared any of those names before and I live in Canada. Maybe it's just me though...

Well I'm from Australia and we call them butchie boys

Potato bugs! I used to play with them when I was little. They're like the armadillos of the bug world!! Cute. :3 (but FYL for finding one in your mouth.)

I've never heard of it and I live in Australia, i think we just don't have any, or enough to know about them

Cassmoneyyy 15

The U.S doesn't have an official language. Just throwing that out there.

It's a rolly poly. Does anyone remember those?

a roley poley or potato bug

I live in Michigan and don't know what a woodlouse is

I looked it up, in the southern united states, most people call them rolly pollies. idk why but that's the name

rats my iPhone crashed the app. I meant to say "protein"

shame. that might have been funny too. stupid iphones

nibawan 0

and you didn't notice it before that? fyl

It probably was in between the bristles of the brush. (I don't know the size of a wood louse so correct me if that's not possible)

your a dirty son of a bitch.

wait, people actually think those bugs are gross? those are like my favorite kinda of bugs, so harmless and adorable :3

He takes after you, hun.

twat_waffle15 0

omg i would've died. there's these little weevils that get into my uncooked pasta and other starchy crap (such as crackers 'n shit) up in my cabinets and I have to put all my pasta in plastic tubs and make sure I take out all the food every few weeks and spray pesticides all over it. It's a pain and the bugs are freakin' gross!!

There's these little bugs that crawl up my nook and cranny and shit...

twat_waffle15 0

My screen-name? Or my story about the little bugs? Lol, I think u mean screenname so I will explain: My friends and I were all talking on the bus-ride home once and we were talking about how gay youtube is for deleting random videos for "lawsuit pending purposes" and then my guy-friend said his youtube name was "twat-waffle" and I loooovvvveeedddd it, so I made that my FML name. Also, my other screen-names are, like, cunt_bubble 'n shit....lol:)

samosith 0

**** bubble? where do kids come up with this stuff....

Cunt-bubble... that HAS to be a talent.

dinoxchrist 0

like, zack and miri make a porno? yes :]

is it me or do you write an entire essay about a simple question in fml?

Those would be called millworms.

mohawkbear 5

How GAY YouTube was? That's offensive. Why don't you grow up and stop talking like a valley girl and learn not to use offensive slang. Gay is not a bad thing, so quit using it like it is.

You spray pesticides on the food you're going to eat??

Eww! Wth were you eating?

oh my. ew.

TandJHire 0

Wow gross! That sucks. And that is why I always check my un-cooked and cooked food bugs freak me out and I would never want something like that to happen to me! FYL for sure.