School, Teachers and Health: A little less conversation…

A little less conversation…

By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 7 615

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Same thing different taste

By poop - 21/03/2015 16:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 607

You deserved it 2 725

Big Muff Fuzz

By Fartagirl - 15/10/2021 05:00

Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 181

Shy pooper

By privatebathroomneeded - 16/12/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 8 079

By Anonymous - 10/05/2011 21:20 - United States

Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 737

You deserved it 4 430

Check her out

By minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 793

You deserved it 6 900

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 312

You deserved it 3 566

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 88

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 707

You deserved it 7 253

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 5 823

Bathroom break

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 363

You deserved it 8 252

chester75 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:46

lol I can't believe OP didn't find it awkward

puppy23 3

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:50

Real English uses s, American English uses z. We say apologise, you say apologize. Get an education.

Comments

CaptinObvious467_fml 2

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:52

Ydi for not holding it. Ydi for not eating less fiber. This all could have been avoided

melchibr_fml 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:06

Ydi for thinking that your comment is funny

CaptinObvious467_fml 2

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:07

Ydi for thinking I give a shit

XxXPromiseXxX 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:52

.oh...well then

perdix 29

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:53

Why are you using the staff toilets if you are a student? As much as seeing "diarrhea" spelled the American way reliably makes me giggle, seeing it spelt (see what I did there?) the British way makes me laugh so hard I fart!

Lidiya8lml 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:59

nice to know the extra details

Manishipa 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:56

17, you fail at life.

chester75 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 22:38

sorry 64 I have to disagree with you on that, 17 is one of the funniest guys on FML, and just because you fail at life doesn't mean you have to bring others down.