Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, I spent my entire day building various zoos in Zoo Tycoon, and then releasing all of the animals to see them chase people. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML
Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML
Today, I followed my GPS exactly for directions to my job interview. I ended up at a petting zoo. I was too embarrassed to admit my mistake, so I pretended to pet a goat before leaving. FML
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Top comments
Hylia_fml 6
Personally, I don't blame you. There are some really bright 5-year-olds out there. But, either way shouldn't YOU, as the zoo employ know more?
bassmaestro 10
Are you sure the kid wasn't lion?
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Comments (111)
Hylia_fml 6
Personally, I don't blame you. There are some really bright 5-year-olds out there. But, either way shouldn't YOU, as the zoo employ know more?
wlddog 14
It's kind of hard to be the expert when it's your first day.
skorka 5
Are u smarter than a 5th grader? Nope. 5 year olds? No.
citymayer 7
My 5-year-old sister outsmarts me all the time. Its usually with the way i say things, she twists it all around; it's probably bc she's got 3 older sisters and has to stay ahead of the game.. Still, she's very clever for a 5-year-old. This FML doesn't surprise me.
emmagillespie24 11
Didnt your boss tell you what to say!? Or did they just throw you to the lions.....
reddawn1985 12
Why didnt u just read the sign in front of cage?
Skittlepickle 13
You gotta know your lions, man. You won't get anywhereswithout your lion facts.
ladyLALAA 29
52, in my head OP read what was on the sign then BOOM, out comes this give year old from left field with some national geo channel speech.
22cute 17
I hate when you go to zoos or museums and the guide feels s/he has to be the world foremost expert on everything. Just relax, encourage smart kids & try to learn something from everyone you meet. No one likes a know-it-all too stuck up to praise a smart kid.
Damn_Hippster 11
I got all my information on lions from the Lion King movies. Who knew that they spoke English?
reddawn1985 12
Awesome
ihasbrains 10
62, they have invisible eyebrows too.
SparrowFall 0
I don't blame them at all . When I was 5 I was obsessed with dinosaurs and I knew the most obscure facts about them . On every other subject I was just a normal kid but If someone brought up dinosaurs... Well they were going to get lectured. OP probably just came across a lion kid
Daiyuki 5
So was I, then I discovered dragons. Dinosaurs seemed pretty lame after finding out their flying, fire-breathing cousins were easily accessible.
KAT0INFINITY 11
Did you just...
boschwachter 7
Probably shoulda done some research as preparation? I would have but maybe that's just me
skoob1 12
Well he had to have done SOME kind of research, right? I mean, you don't just say "these are the lions... They have stripes.." Little kid- "well some lio-" "ns will eat children who harass minimum wage employees." *deathstare
zamattiac 4
Tigers have stripes, not lions.
mars13_fml 8
Maybe he did do research but forgot or got nervous, it was his first day on the job. If he didn't know what he was talking about they probably wouldn't have hired him.
truth_spitta 0
Maybe it was intentional 35 o.O
Stealthed 8
It will be ok, just do some more research and just remember lion won't help you.
aaronfuegopop 7
Maybe you should go back to school...
putloginhere 6
To learn about lions..?
Archay 13
And learn about... Lions? Dafuq school did you go to?
himynameischeese 6
Whoa whoa whoa. Don't tell the zoo keeper what to do. It was his first shift he'll get the hang of it!
KrazieKleo 13
Nat geo FTW. People especially children tend to learn a lot about fascinating animals on tv. Still you got owned by a 5 year old :)
Lauren10102 3
Hmmm, I don't know about that... I am an intern at the Houston zoo and while holding a model ostrich egg in front of the shared giraffe/ostrich exhibit I got like 6 people ask me if it was a giraffe egg... it makes me scared for the future generation
perdix 31
Give them a break -- most people walking around the Houston Zoo have some form of heat exhaustion or heat stroke. They are probably delirious.
bassmaestro 10
Are you sure the kid wasn't lion?
Carkin 8
You sea what he did there? I'm shore you did.
fmlllqueenn 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA nice one
XtraEzeee 8
38- did you do that on porpoise?
SystemofaBlink41 27
5- beary good joke there... beary good joke... >:}
CaitlynLovesLife 11
How qualified do u have to be for that job?
tennisrapper1 14
It's a great idea to ask random people on FML that question! They'll sure care!
CustardAndPie 13
I can't help but think this one might be your own fault, OP. A little extra-curricular research isn't that difficult.
colts609380 7
Those toddlers are always really serious about their zoo animals
jeff98 2
i thought he said he was taking his first shit at the zoo... haha
luvbughug 5
I know there is a good pun here between lion and lying but I just don't have it!
perdix 31
You mean like, "You shouldn't be lion to those little kids anyways?"
XtraEzeee 8
I guess he didn't have the proper koalafications
I_Punch_Babies 7
look at the bright side OP. you may not be quite as smart but at least youre getting paid more than him!