Nearly FMLs

By Ashly123456789 - 17/01/2016 20:13 - United States - La Quinta

Today, my boyfriend dumped me on snapchat. FML

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By nolief - 17/01/2016 20:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised how little of a life I have. I lost my laptop, only to lie on my bed and to stare at the ceiling wondering what to do next. FML.

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By Nope.. - 17/01/2016 20:06 - Netherlands - Pijnacker

Today, I discovered that this week I have not one, but two exams. The huge one on friday and the one I forgot this thursday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Foxtr0tMikeLima - 17/01/2016 20:01 - United States - Helena

Today, at 1am I was plowing snow at a retirement home, when a lady decided to come out and accuse me of doing my job wrong and that I "need to learn to plow snow" when I calmly and respectfully tried to reason with her, I was drowned out by names such as; smartass, fucking loser, etc.. FML

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By Leauge - 17/01/2016 19:58 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I walked in on my dad having sex with my girlfriend of one year. FML

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You deserved it 0

By sexless - 17/01/2016 19:52 - United States - Katy

Today, I shaved everything, wore an expensive corset, fumbled with stockings and garters, put on great makeup, curled my hair, and posed suggestively on my couch. I ended up waiting 3 extra hours for my boyfriend to arrive drunk and unable to get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Septiplier - 17/01/2016 19:51 - United States - New Bern

Today, I went to the store and a kid was next to me on the toy aisle, no older than 6. He dropped his lollipop on the ground (still in the wrapper) so I picked it up for him and gave it back to him... as his mom SWUNG around the corner. She yelled, accusing me of trying to take her child. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By naflower05 - 17/01/2016 19:16 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I rushed my cat to the emergency clinic just before midnight. I spent 3 hours and almost $500 because me cat was quite literally full of shit... FML.

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By jstaines47 - 17/01/2016 19:14 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I started a job I got through this agency. They promised me a corner office with lots of windows, lots of time on the road and a 500,000 dollar company car. So I show up for work to drive a city bus. FML

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By thatcrazykid - 17/01/2016 19:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was typing and essay for my English class, and after hours and hours I finally finished it. I was so happy, I was gonna open my email account when I realized that I accidentally deleted my whole essay. FML

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You deserved it 1

By Dilexar - 17/01/2016 18:51 - United States - Killeen

Today, I walked into the library & heard the librarian, named Marianne, having a hushed conversation w/ someone on the phone. After a short period of time, I took a break from studying to use the bathroom. Inside there was a man in the stall having phone sex w/ a woman named Marianne. FML.

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By Risea - 17/01/2016 18:50 - United States

Today, my mom thought it would be okay to clip her toenails in church.FML

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You deserved it 1

By hornyandmad - 17/01/2016 18:48 - Canada - Port-menier

Today, I was supposed to have sex with my partner for the first time in about a month due to not being able to see each other. We've been planning it for a week. Today is also the day my period decided it was going to stick around for an extra day. Guess we can wait until the next time.. FML.

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By ye olde schooler - 17/01/2016 18:45 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I got robbed. When the robber saw my phone, he punched me in the face and ran off. FML

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By thishurts - 17/01/2016 18:43 - United States - Ames

Today, after being woken up to a phone call from my girlfriend at 1am and her yelling at me for not going to a party, breaking up with me (via call and text.) I find out she also cheated on me with several guys. F.M.L

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You deserved it 0

By amanderpthepanda - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Seattle

Today, I realized that the only reason I care about whether or not my boyfriend's favorite football team wins is because if they don't, he'll stay upset for the rest of the day and refuse to have sex with me. FML

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You deserved it 0

By cantfindlove - 17/01/2016 18:26 - United States - Dahlonega

Today, I found out why my girlfriend had told me she wanted to break up with me. It wasn't because of " feelings " but because of a female in another state that she wanted to date. FML

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By katertott - 17/01/2016 18:22 - United States - Spokane

Today, while getting dressed, I picked up my jeans from on my bed only to clumsily drop them on the floor. As I reached for them again, a large black spider crawled out and sprinted across the room. I still can't find it. FML

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You deserved it 0

By The_ghetto_mango - 17/01/2016 18:16 - United States - Peculiar

Today, I awakened to breakfast, coffee, and the fresh smell of my now dead cat. FML

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By Zacholicious - 17/01/2016 18:15 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after spending months preparing for my audition at a prestigious music college, I went into the audition room only to choke and not be able to play a single note. So much for a college education. FML

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You deserved it 0

By roxannam - 17/01/2016 18:06 - Canada

Today, I came downstairs to see my baby brother naked on the living room couch in the exact spot where I always sit. I'm very OCD about cleanliness and where I sit on the couch. Guess I'll be hanging out in my room for a while. FML

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By nesteremily - 17/01/2016 18:06 - United States - La Verne

Today, my dad decided to take a different route home. The result? A driver under the influence hitting us head on. FML

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By egglord - 17/01/2016 17:25 - United States

Today, I hooked up with this guy for the first time. Things were moving quickly, and while we were making out, he slipped his hand down my pants. Well, I was really relaxed I guess because I accidentally farted. Fml

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By Speechless - 17/01/2016 17:22 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my stepsister told us she is pregnant, we were congratulating her, until my son, her nephew, told us he is the father and they are living together. My father is now in hospital after the shock gave him a heart attack and my wife can't decide if she wants to kill our son, my sister or both FML

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You deserved it 0

By cleaachelseaa - 17/01/2016 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbour has parked her car over mine, blocking me in, why? because I didn't have any milk for her to borrow, now I can't get to work. FML

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By Nikhil_Pillay - 17/01/2016 17:11 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I was talking to my friend about how "Black Holes" develop and affect space. Only to be disrupted by a group of people who had recently been in church, calling me; " A puppet of Satan" FML

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By anonymous - 17/01/2016 17:10 - United States - Boise

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend and his mom called me. I accidentally answered the phone, and she listened to us the whole time. Finally after I realize she was on the phone, I answered it and she asked "Are You guys done yet?" FML.

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By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 17:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dry spell has been so long that when I dreamed a hot guy wanted to have sex with me, I told him that first I had to shave my legs. FML

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By anonymous - 17/01/2016 16:56 - United States

Today, I found out from my mom via text message that my grandpa had passed, followed up by another text message telling me my car repairs are going to be 1300$. FML

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By donaldthegrump - 17/01/2016 16:54 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I reported a recent ainxiety attack to my therapist. Why did I have the attack? I was afraid of telling him about my week. FML.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 152

You deserved it 3 086

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 751

You deserved it 56 044

Today, my husband and I were talking about possibly having a threesome. In his words, choosing a woman would be "a fun new experience for us to enjoy together." But choosing a man would be "forcing me to watch you cheat, and pretend that I'm okay with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 222

Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 90

Today, I realised that the first guy I've dated in five years has ghosted me. It took a lot for me to agree to go on a couple of dates with him, and I thought they went really well. Apparently not, seeing as it's been over two weeks since he last texted. Self confidence = shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 151

Today, a co-worker gave me a couple of CDs he said he wanted me to listen to. I got excited, thinking that they were playlists he'd made for me. They were self-help tracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 523

You deserved it 2 548