Nearly FMLs

By CalixQyu - 18/02/2016 14:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my childhood friend came out the closet. I was happy for him and his bravery. Then I realized this is the same friend who insisted we sleep in the same room, on the same bed during sleepovers. I always slept before him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CalixQyu - 18/02/2016 14:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, employees from a local Kroger's threatened to call the cops on me. I'm an African-American teen and it's almost midnight. Their reason, "trying to break into people cars." The only car I tried to get in was my own, to which my mom (who's inside) has the keys to. They don't believe me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 13:54 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I spent $80 on a new phone case. Today I dropped my phone and smashed it whilst trying to put the phone case on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 18/02/2016 13:44 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I posted a picture with my dad with a caption saying "miss you daddy" my boyfriend commented "miss you too" My dad had some questions... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By OurWorldToday - 18/02/2016 13:36 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, my son threatened to kill himself after I confiscated his Black Ops 3 game. He's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mushman - 18/02/2016 13:29 - United States - New York

Today, I got off the train at Penn Station. My broken leg doesn't allow me to use stairs. The escalators are either broken or not turned on. My being claustrophobic won't let me get on the elevators that are so small they would barely hold 2 Ewoks. I am still standing here waiting for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By joeyl2008 - 18/02/2016 13:23 - United States

Today, was the day I was supposed to move into the room I rented sight unseen. I met up with the land lord the other day to sign my lease and pay the $750 for rent and security deposit. Now according to Google the address doesn't exist and the landlord isn't answering. I think I was scammed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By randomname98 - 18/02/2016 13:02 - United States - Elk River

Today, I had to get an IV put in at the hospital. It only took the nurse half an hour, 6 tries, and an ultrasound to get the needle in my vein. I feel like a pincushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LPac5295 - 18/02/2016 12:38 - United States - Utica

Today, my ex girlfriend called the cops on me. Why? I have no clue. We live more than two hours away from each other and haven't spoken in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By IamHM - 18/02/2016 12:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today I had to give a presentation to some new clients. I was really nervous but I thought I was doing a decent job, except people kept whispering and laughing. I found out why later: I had a big wad of toilet paper hanging from the hem of my skirt. It wasn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MajorPum - 18/02/2016 12:04 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, and actually the last few days, I have a cold. On top of that, I had a nose bleed yesterday. Which means that every time I try to blow my nose now, my nose starts bleeding like hell. Best. Combo. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By GymGirl - 18/02/2016 11:36 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, at the gym. I tried complimenting a cute guy I notice often on his weight loss. Hoping he might start flirting with me, but he just called me a creep and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By GoldenBoy007 - 18/02/2016 11:35 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I was enjoying a nice, lengthy, much needed pee at the urinals, when an older guy walks in, unzips himself at the urinal next to mine, puts his hand in my stream and says, "Damn boy, can you be my shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheGreatGibby - 18/02/2016 11:22 - United States - Traverse City

Today, I was peeing in the woods at a party, when all of a sudden, all the bees in the underground hive I was peeing into decided it would be a great idea to see what was at the end of the stream and sting it as many times as they could, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By wickachad25 - 18/02/2016 10:24 - United States - Canyon

Today, I watched my best friend get searched after being pulled over due to a piece of lettuce in the back seat and an old possession charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 09:54 - United States - Spring

Today a teacher at my sons school contacted me with concerns my son might have a mental disability. When I asked why he thought this, he told me how my son lowers his head at lunch everyday before he eats and he finds it extremely odd. He was praying

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 09:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my 4 yr bf is fucking our regular female 'threesome' partner, while I'm sleeping on the floor. Again. They've both made it very clear they don't want me. I feel like a third wheel in my own relationship. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By sadlife - 18/02/2016 09:15 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I said goodbye to the girl of my dreams. We'd been together for more than 4 years. She's moving half-way around the world for her dream job. It hurts. It just hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tired - 18/02/2016 08:57 - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, my mom comes in my room asking to look through my dads phone because she thinks he's cheating on her. It happens every night and I need to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Balphleair - 18/02/2016 08:42 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I woke up at 6 to go to school. I went to the bathroom and fell asleep on the toilet seat then crawled unconsciously back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By bestbirthdayever - 18/02/2016 08:35 - United States - Tucson

Today, it is my birthday. I got to go see my dad get sentenced to prison. It's the only birthday present I received this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 08:20 - Australia - Grovedale

Today, there is a spider INSIDE the display on my microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By vjfrost - 18/02/2016 07:54 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, we had a huge snow storm. Getting off work at 6 in the morning after a midnight shift my boyfriend came and got me. We were about to pull into our street when a plow truck blocked our entrance with 6 feet of snow. Had to wait an hour to even get into our neighborhood.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By heartbroken - 18/02/2016 07:51 - Australia

Today, the guy I've been seeing for the last 4 months and have fallen hard for told me he's only been using me for sex and has found another girl. My best friends husband is his best friend. I'm going to have to see him at least every other weekend, most likely with his new girl in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 07:15 - United States - Beaverton

Today, one of the teenagers I help care for in a group home tried to force me to drink hand sanitizer. I smell like a vat of rubbing alcohol. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fang713 - 18/02/2016 07:09 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my ex boyfriend was going to finally give me the money he's owed me for six months. He sent the girl he cheated on me with instead of coming himself. She gave me Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By niknik - 18/02/2016 07:06 - Canada

Today, my hubby came home from work and wanted sex for the first time in months (I usually initiate). He told me at the same time my phone reminded me that I'm in my fertile window. This would be great if we were ready and trying to get pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By werepyre007 - 18/02/2016 06:47 - United States - Oil City

Today, I saw a high school kid propose to his high school girlfriend...in the entrance of Walmart. At the same time as being scared for this generation, I realized they're way happier than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Huerta116 - 18/02/2016 06:24

Today, I found out my current girlfriend is going to prom with my ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ReiracsNeve - 18/02/2016 06:23 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, as I went to bed, after a long day of work. Little did I know, my roommate bought a pet. I'm deathly allergic to animal fur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 283

You deserved it 47 606

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 645

You deserved it 2 399

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "Does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 066

You deserved it 3 933

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 542

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 838

You deserved it 52 362

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 362

You deserved it 22 336