Nearly FMLs

By Babydoll2920 - 17/02/2016 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, my boyfriend came over broke up with me then asked my sister out in front of me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dannytomylife - 17/02/2016 20:03 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my sister had an asthma attack and I took her to the hospital, because of how bad it was. We found out she has a hole in her lungs. She's now mad at me, because I was "being nosey" in her business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sophi147 - 17/02/2016 19:12 - United States - Livonia

Today, I got called a member of the KKK by my white, now ex, friend for asking if we could go to a vegan restaurant. This is the same person who wouldn't go to my grandparents house with me because they are "dirty" Italian immigrants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Chapman - 17/02/2016 19:11 - Iceland - Reykjav?k

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a couple of months told me his opinion on cheating. Apparently he thinks it's not cheating if it's in another country. He is going on spring break this year.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By rmays96 - 17/02/2016 18:57 - United States

Today, after hooking up with my best friend, he told me he would be thrilled to date me and that I am perfect for him in every way except the fact that I dont weigh half the amount I do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By windgrace - 17/02/2016 18:49 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today,I've had my ex's 2 large labs for two months while he searches for a place to live. While having sex with my new boyfriend, we've had to stop several times to pull dog hair out of our mouths, if that wasn't bad enough one of them just tried to bite my boyfriend as he was thrusting into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Isthistherealife - 17/02/2016 18:43 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I turned on my computer for the first time in months only for it to auto-install Windows 10 an delete all my files. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Upsetting the in laws - 17/02/2016 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother in law offered me £15,000 if I leave her son and never speak to him again. Guess who just got married in Vegas. We were telling them tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alicat206 - 17/02/2016 18:21 - United States - Katy

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a death fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Lefty4life66 - 17/02/2016 17:51 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, working at my construction job, my co-worker let out a wet fart. I told him he should probably check that. I never should have opened my mouth because he then stuck his two fingers down his pants, pulling out a nacho scoop of shit- he then wiped it all over the wall I am working on. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By sunny_moonbeam - 17/02/2016 17:29 - United States - Union City

Today, I received a chocolate bar from my grandmother. It isn't until I was stuck in traffic that I realized the chocolates were laxatives. My car's going to need some major detailing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whyme - 17/02/2016 17:28 - United States

Today, I walked in on my son and daughter taking a bath together. They're both sixteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By pureNed - 17/02/2016 17:20 - United States - Dayton

Today, my girlfriend said she had a lot of things to do today, and in reply, I asked "like what?" She then shouted at me and became so offended that I asked her that question. She refuses to talk to me and won't answer my calls. I'm so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By srhearrell - 17/02/2016 17:16 - United States - Dayton

Today, I went to see an orchestra perform. I put my phone on silent and do not disturb mode. This didn't stop it from blaring the distress time after the weather service issued a winter weather advisory. I was removed 5 minutes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By beatmyselfup - 17/02/2016 16:59 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I went to the movies with my friend. She chose one I hadn't heard of before, and it turned out to be a zombie horror movie. The first time the zombies jumped out at the main characters, I got so startled that I accidentally punched myself right in the jaw and gave myself a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By catnime - 17/02/2016 16:11 - United States

Today, I woke up in doubling over pain. I had my gallbladder removed over a month ago and I'm supposed to avoide fats and greasy food. I went to town on several boxes of chocolate yesterday. I didn't know chocolate had fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By pregnantandalone - 17/02/2016 16:09 - United States - North Easton

Today, my future child's father told me that I'm not wife material because I won't let him drive my car and he's moving out. I'm having our baby Friday. I won't let him drive it because he has a car and no license. He says this means I don't love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By out with a bang - 17/02/2016 16:02 - Australia - North Lakes

Today,while working my final shift at the restaurant I bent down to pick something up for a customer when my pants ripped . I had to work the rest of my last shift with my my fluro pink undies showing. And yes they were noticeable . FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 15:58 - United States - Houston

Today, I was swiping right on everyone's Tinder profile during class, until I set off the phone of the man sitting behind me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By toast - 17/02/2016 15:58 - United States - Littleton

Today, I discovered that my parents are still spending time with my ex that I broke up with four years ago. They won't stop talking to him because he's apparently like a son to them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MizzKaytee - 17/02/2016 15:52 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I walked outside to find my car window had been smashed. It would of been fine if I didn't lose my job the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 15:31

Today, I was asking my dad if I could attend my best friend's birthday party tonight. When he'd said no, I'd accidently replied, "Ok Daddy, I understand." My friend looked me right in the eyes, "You're 17 and practically a man. Even if he'd said yes, you're no longer invited." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CalixQyu - 17/02/2016 15:23 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, my dad took my car and borrowed $250 from me. His reason, to buy my mom a birthday gift which is acceptable. What's not acceptable is that he has yet to return and he left around Christmas. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By RabbitOfAurora - 17/02/2016 15:23 - Australia - Noble Park

Today, I'm on birth control to stop my period. Today is also day five of the 'period cramps but no period to speak of' from hell. If this wasn't bad enough, the cramps make me need to poo; but pooing just makes the cramps stronger. It's a vicious cycle. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By geekattack - 17/02/2016 15:21 - India - Pune

Today, my bf and I were caught kissing in his car by the local police. No amount of persuading could convince them that were weren't having sex and we had to pay a fine of 10 grand. Didn't realize kisses were so costly. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WAKingUP91 - 17/02/2016 15:17 - United States - Centreville

Today, my girlfriend's upset with me because I spent the last two days working (three different jobs) and had to cancel our make up Valentine's date night. Even though she spent actual Valentine's Day (my only day off) getting her nails down and going to the movies, with my son's mother. FML. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Jack - 17/02/2016 14:40 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, after months in hospital I was finally able to walk around again so I went to my gym to get back in shape. Some moron tried to lift too much weight and dropped a barbell crushing my thigh. Now I'm in hospital on my back for 3 more months. I'm even back in the same bed I just got out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By R.G. - 17/02/2016 14:33 - United States - Shepherdsville

Today, I found out my best friend and my sister have been seeing each other. I found that out, when I saw my best friend screwing my sister in full view of the window. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 14:26 - Dominican Republic - Santiago

After struggling with an intense burn out, my mum treated me to a one week trip to the caribbean. The first three days it poured down 24h, and today as it is the first sunny day i'm laying freezing in the hotelroom with a very powerful foodpoisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By joshuahatch - 17/02/2016 14:20 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I was taking a Finals AP Human Geography . When my best friend had a seizure and was flopping on the floor. Nobody was helping him so I when by his side and was yelling to my professor to get help. I ended up saving him but my professor failed me for leaving my seat during the Finals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 2 023

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 4 822

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 232

You deserved it 3 287

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 867

You deserved it 6 423

Today, I got kicked out of university after missing/failing two exams on the same day, because I was told I could submit my family member's family emergency documents. Turns out, they didn't recognise it because of different last names. My parents never officially married, so couldn't prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 133

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 905

You deserved it 3 055