Nearly FMLs

By winterforever97 - 18/02/2016 23:31

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch watching our favorite movie until he had to go to the bathroom. He left his phone right by my side, I was curious and was gonna look up a character from the movie. As soon as I typed "S", a bunch of scat porn showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 23:28 - United Kingdom - Lowestoft

Today, like every other day, I'm unsure whether or not I'm in a relationship. Why? Because we broke up 2 years ago and nothing has changed, we're even looking at houses together FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By OnlySkyrimStays - 18/02/2016 23:22 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today I discovered my profile for the school yearbook had been removed, so I emailed my head of year about it. Turns out my head of year had decided to expel me for getting a G in my last mock exam and he "thought you'd get the hint" instead of telling me to my face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bad friend? - 18/02/2016 23:17 - United Kingdom - Littlehampton

Today, I asked one of my closest friends how his relationship with his girlfriend was. He instantly accused me of invading his privacy, bitched me out, and proceeded to not talk to me since. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 23:03 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, my friends invited me to their private group on Facebook where they trade and rate each other's most recent shits. There are 3 years worth of posts. I'm never touching their phones again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Matskulliton - 18/02/2016 22:53 - United States - Waltham

Today, my mom bought me a credit card with 100$ because I did 100$ worth of chores and wanted to use it on eBay. I couldn't figure out how to activate it on the website and was banned for hacking into the account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Badluckolsen - 18/02/2016 22:48 - United States - Orangeburg

Today, my dad figured out how to use the parental controls on the TV. I am now restricted to Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. I am 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Badluckolsen - 18/02/2016 22:42 - United States - Columbia

Today, my dad found out how to use parental controls on the TV. I am now restricted to Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 22:03

Today, the person I've been covering for weeks threw me under the bus to my boss. I am now without a job, so thanks for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 22:00 - United States - Ankeny

Today, I called my son down because I couldn't get my laptop to open. He looked at me like I was a retard, turned the laptop around, and lifted the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FuckADuck - 18/02/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, I learned that my grandmother died 3 days ago, but my parents didn't tell me so I would "finish my school work". It would be understandable, if I wasn't told in front of the funeral doors.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By hummelbyhummel - 18/02/2016 21:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got fired. Why? I saw my boss picking his nose in the bathroom, and he didn't want me to tell anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By There was shit everywhere - 18/02/2016 21:46 - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I woke up to the feeling of my toddler wiping her dirty nappy on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anniversary guy - 18/02/2016 21:40 - United Kingdom - London

So my girlfriend and I have been anxiously waiting for our anniversary trip to Istanbul for 2 months now and are leaving tomorrow. We've booked an amazing hotel with spas and saunas to relax. She's just had her period and it will be over the day we fly back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Miss_Chevious - 18/02/2016 21:34 - Pakistan

Today, It's my birthday. So far the only one who remembered was Facebook's automated system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheCurvyGamer - 18/02/2016 21:34 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend and I were texting each other nudes for the first time. I sent her a picture of my penis. She responded, "haha! Send me a pic of your real dick, that one's too small." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By angeluscado - 18/02/2016 21:29 - Canada - Victoria

Today, a pipe burst on the eighth floor of my work building. I work on the twelfth floor and the elevators are out of order. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NightmareIssac - 18/02/2016 21:20 - United States - New Haven

Today, my now ex-girlfriend called me trying to get me to take her on a trip to Japan. I offered to take her there a week ago, when we were still dating. So, I refused. She then started crying. As I tried to calm her down, she told me that she met a hot guy on tinder who lives in Japan, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By his girlfriend16 - 18/02/2016 21:12 - United States - Peytona

Today, I was standing on the toilet in our bathroom scrubbing walls above the window. Well I broke the toilet seat and it slid torwards the door. I tried to catch myself but stepped in the bucket of dirty water and flipped it over and tripped torwards the door and jammed my shoulder up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ananicosia - 18/02/2016 20:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got punched in the face in a lunch line. The girl who punched me had walked past the entire line and I had pointed this out to her, that was her only reason for violence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By rebecca - 18/02/2016 20:38 - United States - Burlington

Today, I found out my boyfriend, who I broke up with because he wasn't having sex with me enough, is now a wealthy doctor. I found out when he drove through my drive-thru in his new, expensive car. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 20:27 - United States - Greensburg

Today, while finishing homework in homeroom I was unable to complete the night before due to work, a kid in the back of the room threw a water bottle up to a kid right behind me. When he caught the water bottle, the cap came off sending the water all over my new ecology book, and my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By what?... - 18/02/2016 20:21 - United States - Lakewood

Today, one of my class rooms smelled like fish because it's next to a cooking class. As my peers filled the classroom they all started to blame me saying it was my time of the month. And when I got emotional about it they got all mad saying I should use tampons. I'm 6 months into my pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By unknown - 18/02/2016 20:00 - United States - Cumming

Today, I decided to visit my 10 high school reunion. I ran into the girl I lost my V card with. She had a kid with her. He was 10 years old. I'm married with another girl for five years. I am now a Dad to TWO kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Lolly - 18/02/2016 19:57 - United Kingdom - Skelmersdale

Today I masturbated at work to relieve my period cramps, I forgot to put a tampon in after this and just bled all over my pants. I had to walk funny for the rest of the day, so no one could see what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 2

By Bengemon825 - 18/02/2016 19:47 - United States - Manchester

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for complementing her recently dyed hair too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By qteabutt - 18/02/2016 19:27 - United States - La Mirada

Today, my dad woke me up to let me know that his girlfriend's husband is staying for a few days and that he's going to take my mattress because they are going to sleep together in the guest room, while I get the small mattress in the garage. I wasn't aware that she was still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Zion - 18/02/2016 19:16 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had a meeting with my boss. I planned to talk to her about how I don't feel like I get the support and resources I need from the management. She cancelled the meeting. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By purplevamp85 - 18/02/2016 19:08 - United States - Plainfield

Today, I realized that I haven't been outside during the day since Sunday. It's Thursday. I need a life besides social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By helpme - 18/02/2016 18:42 - United States - La Canada Flintridge

Today, I am really starting to regret joining swim team. I swam a total of 10,000 meters today and I now have 4 hours of sleep, due to school work, before I have to get up and swim another 5000 meters, followed by a full day of school as well as practice after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 6 year-old daughter asked, "What would happen to me if you and daddy died?" I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said, "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 498

You deserved it 10 027

Today, my husband accused me of cheating. What was I doing? Outside smoking a cigarette and getting caught peeing outside by my neighbor, because I was too drunk to realize I wasn’t in my bathroom on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 2 647

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 158

You deserved it 2 501

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 223

Today, after going to the clinic for my hormone therapy, I decided to go to the mall. I went into the ladies' room to pee, and I heard a guy asking if there was anyone in there who shouldn't be. Yeah, someone called security on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 1 264

Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 906

You deserved it 69 807