Today, I was setting up a computer before a big work meeting. I noticed the software they were using had a text to speech feature. I thought it would be funny to make it say obscene things, then delete it. When the meeting started, the speakers blared, “The VP is gay hahahaha” in a robotic voice. I was fired. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML
Today, it's been a few months since got fired from a job I'd spent two years at. Before getting fired, I trained the entire new staff, and to this day they still message me for help, even though I was fired months ago. FML
Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML
Today, I found out that no matter how friendly a coworker is to you, never vent to them about how the job "is a total shitjoint but pays good” and that the manager “sounds like Cyndi Lauper on crack.” Apparently a listening ear is also a running mouth. I was fired. FML
Today, I was fired from my cashier job for "abandoning my post." I saw a man pass out in the 100° heat in front of our store and I rushed to give him water. Not to worry though, my manager assured me he wouldn’t press charges for the water I took from the fridge, but I’m still fired. FML
Today, my ex told my boss I’d been faking my negative Covid tests. A complete lie, but I had to take a test in front of my boss, just in case. It was positive. I have never faked a test and had no idea I was infected, but my boss fired me for faking tests. FML
Today, my boss told me I could do my university work as long as I served customers when they came in. No customers came in all day, then I realised I’d been so focused on my laptop, I'd never noticed I’d left the bolt on the door, so customers couldn’t get in. My boss sacked me. FML
Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML
Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML
Today, I came into work to have my supervisor call me into her office, then her telling me to pack my things and get out. Apparently, just because they haven’t been saying anything about you being habitually late for work doesn’t mean that they don’t care. FML
Today, despite over 100 colleagues agreeing to attend a protest over our working conditions, no one turned up because they were too afraid of losing their jobs. Since I was alone, I was sacked on the spot and physically thrown out. FML
Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML
Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Today, after moving provinces and working my ass off to find a job, and finally finding one, I got the flu and had to call in sick two days on my first week. They fired me today. FML
Today, I went into work with the mentality that all of my ass-busting work was going to result in me finally being promoted to manager. We had a site meeting. The entire building is being laid off because Apple cut our contract. Yay, I'm out of a job. I hate Apple. FML
Today, I was fired. Last week, I was written up because I came in one minute late from lunch break. The week before, I was yelled at for yawning. I found out it was all a plan for my boss’s favorite employee to get promoted to my position, so they wanted a reason to terminate me. I work in an “at will” state. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my coworker, broke up with me. I agreed to stay professional and civil with him during our work hours. However, he decided to report me for "sexual harassment" and "stalking." He showed them the "evidence." I was fired. FML
Today, I dumped my coworker boyfriend because I caught him cheating with another coworker. He reported me for sexual harassment, and showed my boss the consensual texts we shared during our relationship. Turns out he edited them to make it look like I was the one “harassing” him. Sucks to be jobless. FML
Today, I woke up and wished I hadn’t. I’m broke, tired, hungry and sick of my family, who is rich by the way, not even contributing a penny to help me from being evicted. Oh, and I lost my job last week. FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a babysitter because the movie I showed the kids was "too violent and gave them nightmares." What movie was it? Mary Poppins. FML
Today, I was laid off on the day I was about to put in an offer on a house. This company promised me the world, and I broke myself working to prove my worth. Turns out, I wasn't getting paid for the lunches and breaks I didn't take either. FML
Today, I was fired for following my supervisor's directions. That is to say, I was told to take away contacts from our team to avoid metric drops. The client caught us both, and my supervisor simply threw me under the bus. FML
Today, I got fired from my flight attendant job because I commented to a colleague how a passenger has the audacity to fly economy while sporting a huge Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and that it must be a replica bag. Apparently she was within earshot and reported me. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. Turns out, just because the new redheaded guy at work doesn't say anything about you calling them "Ed Sheeran" all the time doesn't mean he's not reporting it to management. FML
Today, I was let go from my job that I have been at for 6 months, all because someone from the past wants to come back, and the current office manager will be going on maternity leave. I'm just collateral damage. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to prank call my job on my day off. I star 69’ed the numbers and prank called my coworkers. However, when I got to my boss, he knew who I was, and threatened to report me to the police. I’d forgotten to star 69. Safe to say, I was fired on my day off. FML
Today, I got a screenshot from my former supervisor's Instagram that stated, "Finally, I'm rid of these morons at my work." That's how I found out me and other workmates had been laid off. FML
Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML
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