Romantic

Do you have no sense of smell?

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 441

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 132

Tender moment

By Keith - 07/01/2025 12:00 - South Africa

Today, I was in the middle of a romantic dinner when I went to say something sweet, only to have rogue hiccups interrupt my sentence. It sounded like I was saying, "I love you... hic... forever... hic... and ever." The mood was ruined because she now thinks it means that I didn't mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 96

Dinner time

By JJ84 - 31/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 109

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 102

Tripping

By Blank - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 971

You deserved it 4 244

Modern romance

By Not today Satan - 29/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé said we should get married in a Satanic temple. He's already found one he likes, and says we should get matching tattoos instead of rings. Never date a man who didn't have a rebellious period as a teenager, or it'll come out in his 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 314

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 336

You deserved it 8 510

Like in the movies

By alltern8ive - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 647

You deserved it 5 166

By sad life - 26/01/2012 06:23 - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 582

You deserved it 4 817

Life ain't a movie, son

By Effwmn - 20/12/2022 09:00

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 1 311

Happy birthday

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 299

The strangeness of strangers

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt ready to trust men again so I had a little foray into Tinder, just to see what’s out there for a divorcee in her 40s. The very first guy I matched with catfished me with his photo and wanted to buy my dirty undies and socks, in a ziplock bag “to preserve the aroma.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 119

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 118

Someone needs a good talking to

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 136

And if a double-decker bus…

By legwarmer - 31/12/2010 19:21 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 6 584

Cozy

By Bookworm - 18/11/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought that a few candles in our room would create a cozy and romantic atmosphere. Especially the one on the bookshelf. That candle damaged only one book - it was signed by my great professor, who's long gone. She doesn't understand why I can't just buy a new copy and deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 120

Backtrack

By Trollface - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while cuddling in bed, I tried to tell my girlfriend she was cute. It came out as, "I wish you were cuter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 630

You deserved it 4 064

Love language

By gummy bear - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 662

You deserved it 31 267

PDA FML

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 179

A+ for effort…

By I tried - 03/10/2025 22:00

Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 105

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 601

You deserved it 5 037

Your love is cancelled

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few weeks, I've been dating a new guy. Things were going well, we had planned a romantic weekend getaway, but when we got to the hotel, we found out that our reservation had been cancelled. The hotel was fully booked, and we had to spend the night in separate rooms at a sketchy motel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 683

You deserved it 9 981

A cute one for a change

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I planned a romantic picnic date. I packed all my boyfriend’s favorite foods, set up a cozy blanket, and even brought flowers. The second we sat down, it started raining. We ate soggy sandwiches in my car while laughing at our “perfect date.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 129

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 18:00

Today, I did the whole 'rose petals, takeaway Chinese, favourite wine, and movie' thing. As soon as my wife got home, she said, “Great, now I have to sweep up rose petals, I’m not in the mood for Chinese, I was saving that wine, and I watched that movie last week.” I officially give up even trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 286

Bittersweet

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 23:00

Today, I wanted to ask my girlfriend to marry me, so as she loves crosswords, I created my own where the answers spelled out "MARRY ME EVE." Unfortunately, it seems I made the clues a bit too difficult as she only solved two, gave up, and got mad at me for making her feel dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 175

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 049

You deserved it 7 738

Oh well…

By Bobert - 27/04/2025 04:00 - Romania

Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 194

Marooned

By fmljae - 20/01/2011 09:11

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 865

You deserved it 30 984

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 163

Today, I have alopecia areata and I constantly have reappearing bald spots all over my head. I cannot properly grow a beard, and one of my eyes has no eyelashes. However, my nose hair seems to grow at the rate of an old man on biotin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 66

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 143

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 272

You deserved it 3 422

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 454

You deserved it 2 257

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 3 089