Relatable

Just another cog

By Really?!? - 26/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, the director of the library was introducing me to the new HR person. She told the HR person that I'd been working here for 5 years. Actually, I've been working here for 19 years, and had been working here for 3 years before she got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 65

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Ona

Today, I got rejected by a girl I was talking to. We had mutual feelings, and I waited a long time for her to be single again. We talked, made out, and now she has gotten into another relationship, acting like she doesn't like me anymore… but still wants to be friends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 204

I've got a lot going on

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 09:00 - Germany - Munich

Today, I, a fucking international student who's been here for like two weeks, ditched the end of a lecture because I had to get off in the men's bathroom, after being degraded by an ex who hates me. Instead of moving up in life, I do this stupid shit because I like being treated like entertaining garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 685

Woot Canwal

By hatemydentist - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 025

You deserved it 3 394

Classic brainworms

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to someone on the phone, and then I panicked because I couldn't find it, searching for it while speaking on the phone, asking them to call it. It wasn't until they started laughing did I realise that it was up against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 461

You're welcome!

By birthdaygirl - 22/10/2024 15:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I called my mom to let her know I was coming home for my upcoming birthday, as I haven’t seen my parents in months. She then stated she hated my birthday because it reminded her she was getting older, and they may have preexisting plans that evening anyways. Really feeling the family love… FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 109

Get me out

By bosslady12 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that I needed a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 550

You deserved it 3 405

Fall vibes

By Frozen - 19/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I slept on the couch last night. Not because of an angry significant other, but because my bedroom was absolutely freezing, thanks to the wind. It was like a giant freezer. Even fully cocooning myself in blankets with a sweater on didn't work. I should get a space heater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 110

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 122

What's that coming over the hill?

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 09:00 - Germany - Welle

Today, they say our bowels are like a second brain. Well, mine seem to have the brain of an 8-year-old, because we’ve been playing “Attack of the Monster Poo” for five consecutive days now. Of course, like any self-respecting monster, it only attacks when you're asleep, then again once you've let your guard down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 87

You look like you've seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was being ghosted by the person I’d been talking to online for three months. I was heartbroken, but then I noticed a message notification pop up from him. Excited, I opened it up, only to see, "Sorry, wrong person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 107

Disk horse

By anon - 15/10/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 778

Help wanted…

By lexithepirate - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I left with referrals to both a dermatologist and a mental health professional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 288

You deserved it 2 887

Sheila Take a Bow

By Ash090 - 14/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I came to realize that dating as an overweight girl sucks. I can’t get a guy to commit/stay to save my life. I go on dating apps, and when we exchange photos or meet in person they abandon me. I know that this will change if I lose weight, but is it wrong for me to want to be loved for who I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 660

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I got ready for work half-asleep, grabbed my coffee, and walked out the door. It wasn’t until I was in the elevator that I realized I was also holding the TV remote instead of my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 199

Let's do this again?

By Giselle - 13/10/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy who insisted on eating off my plate the whole night. He didn't order his own food, because according to him, "it’s more intimate to share." He didn’t get why I found the whole deal off-putting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 70

Bing bong beep

By Anonymous - 12/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our son fell asleep with his iPad playing some sort of annoying beeping noise from one of his games. We can hear it in our room and it’s just annoying enough that neither of us can sleep. The iPad is under his body, so if I try to get it he WILL wake up and WON’T go back to sleep tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 671

I'm so bored

By Bored - 12/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 274

Can't win

By notamindreader - 09/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I've been working for a company for six months, but I still don't know my job fully because my trainer is difficult. He would get mad because I'd wait until he was done explaining before asking questions, so I changed and asked as soon as he said something I didn't know, but would get, "Well, if you'd let me finish…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 87

'Tis always the way

By Christine - 09/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I found out that my manager has been stealing my ideas. The worst part? He made me work overtime to complete the project that I originally proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 78

Cars these days…

By Kevin - 08/10/2024 12:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, my relatively new car locked down, with my keys inside of it, while it was still running. In a panic because it was getting dark and I was already low on fuel, I called a locksmith. He showed up and told me he needed to see some ID before unlocking the car. My ID was in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 116

Love is love

By Taylor505 - 07/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Ocala

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 105

Way too transparent

By Louise - 07/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I got a friend of mine, who I also like, a present for his birthday. When I gave him the present, he winced and told me, “Thanks, this is sweet and all, but I only like you as a friend.” I haven’t even told him how I felt or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 174

Teacher's pet

By Justcomeinlate - 07/10/2024 00:00 - Turkey

Today, I decided to show up to my new class an hour early, to be able to choose my seat, and figure out how the computer lab works… only to find out that the lab was locked and I had to wait until the professor unlocked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 495

Be careful what you wish for

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, after I quit a career job in my 30s for job in natural medicine, 100s of thousands in student debt, it's not as lucrative as I thought. No health insurance, savings, or pension. My midlife friends are on autopilot to retiring. I'm just praying I don't get sick so I can work until my 80s and die. Apparently not the best choice, and sucks to think about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 732

I can fix him

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I realised I'm like the Mary Poppins of dating. I keep meeting these broken men, I help them through their stuff, only for them to date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 136

Heavy emphasis

By James - 04/10/2024 22:00 - Canada - Laval

Today, I was having a passionate conversation about video games with a friend in our school cafeteria when I leaned back in my chair as I empathized a point. I leaned a little too far, tipped over, and ended up sprawled out on the floor, still trying to finish my point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 391

Flustered but respectful

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 06:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I met Tim Duncan out in public. I went up to him to confirm that it was him and he confirmed it. Instead of asking for a picture or autograph, I said, "Well, it was nice meeting you!" and walked backed to my car as he drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 353

FINNBY boss

By danny - 03/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 466

Mind reader

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 12:00

Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 138

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 332

You deserved it 7 784

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 313

You deserved it 15 438

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 614

You deserved it 13 667

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 228

You deserved it 4 523

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 591

You deserved it 1 435

Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 302