Miscellaneous

Too many JCS videos

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

agreeclassic 40 377

vote type 1 7 988

Disproportionate response

By notout - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my 28-year-old brother screamed at me and outed me to our very religious, homophobic parents because I wouldn't let him shock his friend with an electric dog collar. FML

agreeclassic 5 122

vote type 1 743

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

agreeclassic 26 007

vote type 1 2 843

Creaky floorboards

By wtf?? - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

agreeclassic 38 326

vote type 1 3 690

ARE YOU SORRY?

By Jim - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, during PE, I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

agreeclassic 28 896

vote type 1 4 391

It's bad for your health

By Anonyme - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Lyon

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side covered in a spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

agreeclassic 20 166

vote type 1 7 059

Creative

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I discovered that my new roommate likes to take the loose hair when she showers and make shapes with it on the shower wall. She calls it art. FML

agreeclassic 32 453

vote type 1 3 833

Surprise !

By kelsey - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They apparently thought it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 65 650

vote type 1 5 099

Open door policy

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

agreeclassic 36 444

vote type 1 3 753

Sneaky

By pyrosythan - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

agreeclassic 52 019

vote type 1 3 265

Ass man

By blaaargh - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Seymour

Today, my dad uttered the words, "You gotta admit, your mother's got one hell of an ass." FML

agreeclassic 21 582

vote type 1 2 328

Founding father

By YouAssholes - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Anaheim

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fanbase. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they're trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

agreeclassic 51 335

vote type 1 3 890

Shame!

By milly - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, my mother commented "Loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

agreeclassic 40 782

vote type 1 6 760

Good question

By cynicalcindy - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out, "Are you having fun?" FML

agreeclassic 15 179

vote type 1 50 371

Party time!

By Kate - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

agreeclassic 32 178

vote type 1 4 087

Cheers

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has "politely" posted up on Facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

agreeclassic 33 140

vote type 1 3 579

RIP Dave Prowse

By Davios - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic, only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

agreeclassic 38 181

vote type 1 5 793

Where am I?

By awalc - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles superglued to my forehead. FML

agreeclassic 33 271

vote type 1 6 162

They're after us!

By Stevie - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

agreeclassic 34 286

vote type 1 3 951

Beggars can't be choosers

By I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

agreeclassic 603

vote type 1 468

Inner voice

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

agreeclassic 10 803

vote type 1 44 860

Thrifty

By why - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

agreeclassic 49 819

vote type 1 3 803

Social bumbling

By A massive racist, apparently - 09/06/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out it's apparently racist to point out that a person has a unique spelling for a common name. I then found out it's even more racist to yell at the person who tells you in a very condescending tone that "it's a common spelling," even though I've literally never seen it before in my life. FML

agreeclassic 417

vote type 1 857

Thanks, but no thanks

By rick - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Roanoke

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

agreeclassic 47 694

vote type 1 3 635

Housekeeping!

By unit - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

agreeclassic 12 060

vote type 1 40 520

Riding high

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

agreeclassic 25 193

vote type 1 2 064

Boo!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

agreeclassic 16 835

vote type 1 28 256

Dutch courage

By not a jesse pinkman joke - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Princeton

Today, my dad turned up drunk to an intervention for my brother's drug addiction. FML

agreeclassic 35 630

vote type 1 2 638

Take the L

By JPPUDLY - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Gatos

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

agreeclassic 26 810

vote type 1 2 510

Pay attention

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

agreeclassic 29 659

vote type 1 3 236

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

agreeclassic 14 312

vote type 1 20 766

Today, I'm now at the point in my marriage where I’ve stopped caring, so when my wife says, “I’m fine” I’m going to treat her like she’s fine. I’ll maybe post an update with details of how long she goes from, “I’m fine” to screaming at me for not playing along with her mind games anymore. FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 170

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

agreeclassic 27 542

vote type 1 26 271

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

agreeclassic 39 188

vote type 1 3 631

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

agreeclassic 22 700

vote type 1 1 523

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

agreeclassic 438

vote type 1 42