JuliaKay14 · 24 July 2023, 22:00 ·Elmira, United States

Bizarre love triangle

Today, I got a message from a former very close friend (with benefits) after telling him this morning that I couldn't talk to him anymore because I felt pressured to conform to his expectations in a way that hurt me. He wanted to tell me he broke up with the girl he abandoned things with me for. I'm not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 You deserved it 377

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Anonymous · 24 July 2023, 06:00

The main antagonist

Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815 You deserved it 190

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T-Pain · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

But wait, there's more!

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 963 You deserved it 7 271

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Anonymous · 23 July 2023, 15:00

Driven to drink

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366 You deserved it 927

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Rhayne · 23 July 2023, 06:00 ·Lagos, Nigeria

The house always wins

Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787 You deserved it 147

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Anonymous · 22 July 2023, 15:00

Rain check?

Today, I woke up a little after seven. I felt sick to my stomach because last night was my bachelor party and I drank more than I ever have before. I checked my phone, and I had received 42 missed calls. It was seven o'clock pm. Today was my wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 2 057

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Dingus

Today, after my second date with an otherwise charming guy, he called me a whore for turning him down for sex. Yeah, I'm trying to work out the logic of that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588 You deserved it 1 963

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Anonymous · 22 July 2023, 00:02

Horny but flustered

Today, I experienced gay panic. I've felt like this before, but all the other people of the same gender I've liked I had no chance with. This time, I might have a chance with this person, if I don't screw it up like how I did last time. Please please please don't be straight or already taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491 You deserved it 510

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Anonymous · 21 July 2023, 12:00

It's a trap!

Today, I agreed to go to a restaurant because I hadn’t really been listening and thought everyone was planning a coworkers night out. It wasn’t until the guy who had invited me turned up at the restaurant in a suit that I realised it wasn’t a group event, I’d accidentally agreed to a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 1 128

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Anonymous · 21 July 2023, 10:00

Free speech

Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910 You deserved it 148

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Anonymous · 21 July 2023, 06:00

The old switcheroo

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237 You deserved it 564

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TooMuchWattpad · 20 July 2023, 15:00 ·Piscataway, United States

Are you OK?

Today, I cried so much I felt nauseous and almost puked. Why was I crying? I made up a hot, brooding, cold, and heartless guy who secretly cared about me, and who's super protective. Then I imagined him dying by being stabbed. I cried over a guy I made up in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 You deserved it 1 398

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Anonymous · 20 July 2023, 12:00 ·Moncton, Canada

Kinda sus

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 887

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pyrosythan · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Sneaky

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 031 You deserved it 3 266

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juggalo2 · 19 July 2023, 12:00

Hoarders

Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877 You deserved it 214

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Anonymous · 19 July 2023, 06:00

Above the law

Today, our wedding was ruined. My fiancée detests children due to traumatic childhood abuse, so our wedding was adults only. Two families showed up with children known to always misbehave. The stress pushed my fiancée into a minor heart attack, she’s now in hospital and the wedding didn’t happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404 You deserved it 186

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Valentina · 17 July 2023, 22:00

Love is…

Today, my husband hosted dinner tonight and once again made deflating comments and called me “r*tarded sp*c” in front of his friends. They all laughed, while I had a knot in my throat. I have to stay married to him for another year and a half or else I’ll lose my green card and get deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288 You deserved it 414

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wideawake · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Bored

Today, my husband fell asleep for two hours at a dinner party. We were the hosts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835 You deserved it 5 694

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Anonymous · 17 July 2023, 18:00

Kinda is

Today, my blind date got up and left the table before our food had even arrived, saying he wasn't going to bother with me. Apparently bringing my own bottle of ranch for dipping is "weird" now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 2 855

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Mom · 17 July 2023, 15:00

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316 You deserved it 1 551

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Anonymous · 16 July 2023, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

The best laid plans…

Today, I found out that the poly relationship I was in with my husband and my boyfriend was a sham. He admitted to using me for emotional and sexual support during a rough patch, and lost interest almost five years ago. We made plans to live together and grow old with our kids. We're speechless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456 You deserved it 1 289

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Anonymous · 16 July 2023, 18:00 ·Chesterfield, United States

Tasty snack

Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684 You deserved it 456

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Sergeant Bri · 16 July 2023, 15:00 ·Norwood, United States

Bitches, amirite?

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626 You deserved it 300

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Anonymous · 16 July 2023, 06:00 ·Nampa, United States

Many such cases

Today, the girl I really thought I had feelings for told me she kissed me on the cheek because I’m a sweet person, but she doesn’t want to be my partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657 You deserved it 210

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Anonymous · 16 July 2023, 03:00

Too late

Today, my husband told me he'd changed his mind and no longer wants children. We already have two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920 You deserved it 153

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Laura · 15 July 2023, 22:00 ·Chicago, United States

The hell that is dating

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He told me his wife had filed for divorce this morning (I had no idea he had ever been married) and then he sent me the e-receipt for my nachos along with his Venmo handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874 You deserved it 150

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ManyRegrets · 15 July 2023, 03:00 ·Bloomsburg, United States

My legacy

Today, I found out that the one who got away just had a baby, and named it after me. My current longtime girlfriend and I already decided not to have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 749

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Anonymous · 14 July 2023, 22:00

Out of control

Today, my grandma, who was placed in a hospice a few months ago, started to decline in health and passed away, The day before she died I thought my girlfriend was so sweet because she took a leading role in her care, just to find out she didn’t care about her at all. It was just an act to steal her pain medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020 You deserved it 103

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cannotexplain · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Mixed signals

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. It was a mutual decision but I was curious as to what he thought went wrong. "I was just never sure if you brushed your teeth regularly." He cheated on me twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 046 You deserved it 1 463

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Anon · 14 July 2023, 18:00 ·Denver, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Are men OK?

Today, I had a manbaby on a dating app tell me that I should experience more transphobia, because I declined to sleep with him behind his wife's back. Dating as a trans person is hard enough, but WTF, dude? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 418

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