Anonymous · 19 April 2022, 14:00 ·Verona, United States

Time to move

Today, as every morning since I started working from home, my mother interrupts me with her complaints about family members and old history. I'm not qualified to be a family therapist, and I need this job to pay my bills. She doesn't take the hint with my headphones on, but heaven help me if I interrupt her TV show later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966 You deserved it 141

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Bridey Bride · 18 April 2022, 22:00 ·Preston, United Kingdom

The best day of your life

Today, my sister looked prettier in her bridesmaid's dress than I did in my wedding dress. I love her to bits, but she won the genetic lottery out of the two of us, so even on my wedding day I feel inferior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097 You deserved it 284

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Anonymous · 17 April 2022, 12:00 ·Gabon

Priorities

Today, my near 70 year-old father posted his Wordle score to the family group chat. Two days after I'd messaged him a warm and lengthy congratulations on his 10-year sobriety anniversary — to which he never replied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 You deserved it 206

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Anonymous · 13 April 2022, 06:00 ·Morganville, United States

How can I make this about me?

Today, my sister announced that she just got engaged… right as I was in the midst of giving birth to my twin daughters. The thing is, she's not actually engaged. In fact, she's single. She just couldn't stand that I was "upstaging" her and "had to think of something fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876 You deserved it 112

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Anne · 12 April 2022, 14:00

Should I snitch or should I go?

Today, ever since he got out of jail, my brother thinks it's hilarious to use the skills other inmates taught him to break into my house, setting up pranks, or watching tv and waiting for me to get home. It's mostly harmless, but it is still majorly pissing me off. Should I call the cops if he continues? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200 You deserved it 141

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Anonymous · 12 April 2022, 04:00

Thanks for the memories

Today, I knew my mom wanted to go out to dinner with me and my sisters, and I couldn't remember why, so I called her and said, "Why are we going out to dinner?" and she goes, "Well, we always have." I forgot today's the anniversary of my stepdad dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755 You deserved it 603

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Riley · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Welcome to Hell

Today, my grandma got up at 6:30am, clattered about the bathroom then sang religious songs at the top of her voice for half an hour. Apparently this is her normal routine, weekends included. She is staying with us for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832 You deserved it 3 823

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Sarge9774 · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Wars of the Stars

Today, I found out that my uncle does not like my step-daughter because she likes Star Wars. He stated that Star Trek was better, and went on to verbally attack a 6-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 114 You deserved it 867

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Anonymous · 9 April 2022, 00:00 🌶️ Spicy

He gets around

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 626 You deserved it 666

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just walk away · 7 April 2022, 10:00 ·United States

Life hacks

Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 6 April 2022, 18:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

Selective compassion

Today, after my wife and and her family often complained about refugees around town and never donated a cent, even blaming a church fire on them, I thought they were just stingy and racist, but now they're donating and even offering their spare houses to refugees from Ukraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861 You deserved it 294

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DontWorryImDead · 4 April 2022, 10:00

Tornado warning

Today, it's been more than 3 days since a tornado ripped through my neighborhood. Several were injured, and there is millions of dollars of damage. Not a single family member has called, texted, or stopped by to see if I need help or got injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 1 April 2022, 14:00

The punch from beyond the grave

Today, my brother‘s will read that everything would go to our other brother, so long as he punched me for having an affair with my his wife. So now I have a black eye. I’m gay, but I've never told my family. I didn't have an affair with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334 You deserved it 201

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Anonymous · 1 April 2022, 00:01

Sorry not sorry

Today, I miscarried my baby. My teen sister, who has autism and can’t handle being around children, congratulated me on getting my freedom back, and also on miscarrying before I got fat like our mom. I can’t even yell at her because she wouldn’t understand why I’m upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691 You deserved it 173

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Anonymous · 31 March 2022, 22:00 ·Norwich, United Kingdom

Return to lender

Today, I woke up and found a trail of £5 notes in my bedroom, which led all the way downstairs and into the bathroom. I got to the last one, where I was then kicked in the balls from behind. It was my sister. She said it was the money she'd borrowed from me. I was left in my underwear writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361 You deserved it 167

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Anonymous · 30 March 2022, 00:01 ·Verona, United States

Watching your prime go by

Today, I've reached the age as a sexless loser where my family no longer tells me to find a "single lady" but rather a "single mother". Thanks for reminding me everyone else had fun in their twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 243

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Anonymous · 29 March 2022, 06:00

Bitch better have my money

Today, after I started living with siblings to save money during pandemic, one of them has struggled to pay rent and after 2 years now owes me $10,000, which I will likely never see. I told him this is an unfair living situation, and will not be extending the lease. Now he's acting like a victim and treating me like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148 You deserved it 199

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Anonymous · 29 March 2022, 00:00 ·Sofia, Bulgaria

All over cheese?

Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 28 March 2022, 12:00 ·Verona, United States

Don't mention it

Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825 You deserved it 95

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what year is this?! · 27 March 2022, 22:00 ·United States

Republicans scrap child marriage bans

Today, I found out my 17 year-old cousin is getting married. My hyper religious family swears my concerns are just “masking” my jealousy. Yeah sorry for thinking such a young person, who is still a child, should have her own life before making such a huge decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005 You deserved it 185

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really? · 27 March 2022, 00:01 ·United States

Priorities, dude

Today, my sister, who used to be my best friend, texted me asking why we never talk anymore. Hmm, maybe it’s because she stopped answering my calls, texts, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, psychic reachings, and every other form of communication since she got a new boyfriend six months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118 You deserved it 152

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Sad · 24 March 2022, 16:00

Petty bitches

Today, my mother passed away in the hospital. My sister and brother refused to tell me which hospital she was staying at so I couldn’t say goodbye. They blocked my number. This was all because apparently I was the favorite and they did this as a vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779 You deserved it 110

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HadEnough · 24 March 2022, 02:00

Mummy's little boy

Today, I hate my toxic, bossy, narcissistic mother-in-law - who is currently visiting us. My husband spilt a little tea and almost had a panic attack over what to do if his mother found out. How did he turn out so normal despite having such a mum? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 20 March 2022, 05:59

He studied the blade

Today, I dropped and snapped a carving knife that’s been in my girlfriend's family for generations, and is used to carve the meat every Christmas. I'm a huge coward, so I hid it back in its box but when it gets taken out again Christmas Day 2022, I think I’m a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419 You deserved it 1 490

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Anonymous · 19 March 2022, 10:00

Send help!

Today, it's my fifth month with my grandmother-in-law living with me and my partner. She's the most toxic, manipulative person I've ever met in my life. I have no idea when she's leaving. I literally run into rooms when I hear her coming downstairs so I don't have to talk to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 148

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Emm · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Not the expected outcome

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised, I punched my mom in the face when she screamed, "SURPRISE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 136 You deserved it 21 021

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Anonymous · 15 March 2022, 16:00

CBD FML

Today, I'm planning a long awaited trip to Australia to see family I haven't seen since before the pandemic. I use CBD for pain, and everything I've read contradicts itself. I have no idea if I can take it with me, buy it there, or have to get a prescription or whatever. I guess I'm going to be in pain the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 202

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Anonymous · 13 March 2022, 16:00 ·Chicago, United States

Paranoid android

Today, I hit my target weight for the first time since high school. As a result, my girlfriend refuses to hook up with me, because her slutty cousins are now too interested in me, and she assumes I'm leading them on. I've never met them in person, because they live in Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224 You deserved it 204

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Anonymous · 12 March 2022, 02:00

Remember the promise you made

Today, my mom decided to go against every promise she's made to everyone once again and left us in financial ruin. How? She took advantage of my kindness, and didn't pay any of the money she owes me for driving my car, and for so much more. I'm more than $2,000 in debt now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 251

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Anonymous · 10 March 2022, 14:00

Think before you speak

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174 You deserved it 2 418

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