Today, my near 70 year-old father posted his Wordle score to the family group chat. Two days after I'd messaged him a warm and lengthy congratulations on his 10-year sobriety anniversary — to which he never replied. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML
Today, after nearly three years of no contact whatsoever, I received a Facebook notification from my father. Eager to see what he said, I pulled it up only to see a game request. He had run out of lives on Candy Crush. FML
Today, it's my one-year anniversary of being sober. For the occasion, my father decided to spice-up my non-alcoholic cocktail with booze. I didn't realize, and drank it. FML
Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, I received a short happy birthday message from my father. He’s never been one to show affection, and I haven’t spoken to him in months since he only reaches out to ask for money. This might have given me hope that he cares or wants a relationship with me. Except… it’s not my birthday, and I don’t think he knows that. FML
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
I mean this as gently as possible, but did he /want/ the sobriety reminder or was that something you feel he /should/ want? He might just be uncomfortable with that. Or maybe he didn’t know what to say in response and didn’t reply as a result.
JimmyOblues 6
So you’re saying… “I’m pouting because he didn’t congratulate me on congratulating him.” Get over it.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
NOONE CARES ABOUT SUCHA VAPID THING
Anderling 33
I mean this as gently as possible, but did he /want/ the sobriety reminder or was that something you feel he /should/ want? He might just be uncomfortable with that. Or maybe he didn’t know what to say in response and didn’t reply as a result.
Studious_Gluteus 20
It's noteworthy when a 70yo can do anything at all on social media. Considering the hundreds of signals that come from electronics on a daily basis, overlooking one is generally not something to worry about.
JimmyOblues 6
So you’re saying… “I’m pouting because he didn’t congratulate me on congratulating him.” Get over it.