Embarrassing

Introverted clumsiness

By I'm a fucking idiot!!! And I suck at using discord. Going back to tumblr. - 09/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Concord

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 177

Slipping up

By englishfail - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 512

You deserved it 48 537

Cheers!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 025

You deserved it 7 535

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I had to come to terms with the truth that I'm absolutely terrible at parallel parking. After three failed attempts, I finally gave up and parked in a spot labeled "No Parking" just to make it stop. Of course, a car pulled in right behind me and blocked me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 573

Speech patterns

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 00:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 487

One night in Wetherspoons

By Joe Smooth - 06/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to impress a girl in a bar with a magic trick. Instead of pulling a coin from behind her ear, I accidentally flicked her glasses straight into her pint of lager. She was far from impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 555

**** the environment

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was trying to be environmentally friendly by riding my BMX to work. My 'rad skills' are out of whack because I hit a pothole, fell off, and landed in a pile of trash bags that were dumped by the side of the road. The irony wasn’t lost on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 153

Helping hands

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 123

First impressions

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 132

Fiat 500 woes

By Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 126

No thanks for you

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, it was Thanksgiving and the first time my boyfriend would be meeting my whole family. He was nervous so he started drinking. By the end of the night, he was belligerently drunk and kissed my aunt twice thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 143

Carpool karaoke

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was singing loudly in my car at a red light, completely oblivious. When I finished the song, I turned to see a bus full of passengers watching (and also some of them filming) my performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 421

That'll be a no from me, dawg

By Anonymous - 25/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 153

Desperate times

By jeana - 25/11/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 332

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 23/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 132

It's not what you think!

By HenryJ - 22/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 146

Exhausted

By Anonymous - 22/11/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I so obviously dozed off during a video call at work. Afterwards, my manager messaged me asking if I was OK. I was mortified, and now I'm "on his watch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 437

Happy dance!

By Got the job anyway, so whatevs - 22/11/2024 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, after five years of working a soul-sucking dead end job, I was offered an amazing role in a new field. When the HR rep told me, I was so excited that I screamed at the top of my lungs, cheered like a maniac, and started laughing so hard I cried.I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm off my meds now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 520

Doggos 4 Life

By Jerry01 - 19/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 166

Karma wins again

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 561

BOOM!

By Alison - 18/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 200

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 153

Stoking too close to the sun

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 755

It's all so quiet…

By Louis - 13/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I finally felt brave enough to sing karaoke in public. I was halfway through the song when the restaurant’s power went out, leaving me singing my heart out in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 117

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 334

Blush

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new pair of white pants, feeling fancy. Halfway through the day, I discovered a ketchup stain that looked suspiciously like a heart right on the front. That explained why people kept giving me sympathetic nods as I walked by, probably thinking I'd spilled my heart on my sleeve… or my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 124

Pep talk

By Brendon - 12/11/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to give myself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror at work, just like Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul does. Just as I said, "You got this," someone walked in and gave me a very concerned look. Now I’m the "motivational mirror person" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 309

Freestyle

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 12:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I'd practiced for a slam poetry night all day. When I got up on stage, I forgot all of it and, for some reason, and my brain refused to improvise around my planned themes, so I launched into a totally unrelated rant about how confusing microwaves are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 216

Stain influencer

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to take a cool selfie with my coffee mug for Instagram. As I posed, I didn’t realize the mug was tilted, and I poured hot coffee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 696

Not working out

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 439

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 984

You deserved it 2 901

Today, while working as a manager in a busy restaurant, I was hit in the face by a grandmother with a balloon, calling me a motherfucker, while her granddaughter chucked a salad plate into the kitchen. Why? I told them they had to leave at 10, which is currently pandemic law in my state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 83

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 604

You deserved it 8 476

Today, I handed in an internship assignment that I have been working on for months. Once submitted, a pop-up showed, stating the assignment was 100% plagiarized. What was it plagiarized from? A student paper. My own, to be more specific - the exact same paper I had uploaded seconds before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 86

Today, I realized that I got set up by my narcissistic ex-fiancée. She'd planned to get pregnant by me, did, then halfway way through the pregnancy put a restraining order on me, and went MIA. Now I don't know anything about my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 148

Today, despite seeing her every weekend, her not telling me her work schedule, and her having ignored me every time she gets a boyfriend, my sister is upset that I "don't make more of an effort to see her." Sorry, I'm trying to not rely on people who hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 156