Embarrassing

Mirror image

By JimmyTheDude - 05/07/2024 22:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, to save money, I tried following a YouTube tutorial to trim my beard myself. Halfway through, the clippers slipped, and now I have a huge chunk missing in the middle of my chin. I tried to even it out, but it just got worse. Now I look like I lost a fight with a Flymo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 368

Simply red

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 789

Culture clash

By lmaofuck - 26/05/2016 01:06 - United States - Westerville

Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 641

You deserved it 1 414

Bling

By Elisha - 13/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I spent five hours extracting gold flakes from river sand. When I took it to the pawn shop, the dealer laughed in my face and said it was Fool's Gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 514

Flying disaster

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 144

Anyway, here's Wonderwall…

By playinmyguitar - 15/08/2009 15:02 - United States

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 132

You deserved it 7 017

Party pooper

By jeremyr5678 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was at a really big party and everyone was showing off by flipping into the pool one by one. When it was my go, I attempted a back flip, cracked my head open on the side of the pool, and was rushed to hospital. Now everyone hates me cause the party was forced to shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 952

You deserved it 4 909

Practise makes perfect

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 16:00

Today, I've practised a particular fast passage at least hundreds of times, it was perfect… then came the competition. I sat down on the chair and played it, but halfway through, my instrument chose to just fall off my hand, not even the bow or something, the entire instrument. It was recorded too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 137

Crime scene

By isuckatlife - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 175

You deserved it 5 906

The walk of shame to the gym locker

By Sahil lilaramani - 15/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 187

Bad publicity

By And I'm still single - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 093

You deserved it 6 145

Someone check in on this guy

By Klinger - 08/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 89

Average White Sox fan

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to one of my friends that the cap he likes to wear makes people look at us funny in public. He thinks it's just the White Sox logo. It's styled like the baseball team's logo, but it actually says "Sex". I had to show him both side by side for him to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 117

Dumbass move

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 00:00

Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 1 041

By embarassinggg - 06/02/2013 18:57 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to, "Stop sticking your butt out!" My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 2 484

Unsteady

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 71

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 163

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 868

You deserved it 6 973

Desks are so judgmental these days!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was promptly told to lose weight today by my computer desk when it broke under the weight of my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 812

OnlyFAlans

By daddyrobyn - 17/04/2017 04:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I met an important figure in my line of work who also happens to know my dad, Alan. Upon meeting said person, I let my social anxiety get the best of me and I greeted him by saying, "Hi! I'm your Alan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 682

By Skyler - 24/04/2013 19:14 - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 285

You deserved it 14 350

So brave

By baller12 - 03/02/2009 15:25 - United States

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 minutes early, only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat, sat down, and unpacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 294

You deserved it 38 722

Wyan

By hellosaila - 27/02/2009 07:58 - United States

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 988

You deserved it 15 082

Gnatty

By Anonymous - 01/12/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I had a dead gnat stuck on my chin. This was after an hour-long appointment with a good looking doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 204

Pipe down Mariah

By Confidenceruined - 28/12/2022 18:00

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 2 389

Projection much, Mom?

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 21:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my mother brought my sex life in front of an entire family gathering. I lost my virginity at 17 and when she found out she called me a whore. This time, she told the family I'd slept with 100 men by the time I was 18. I’m 40 and my body count is 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 255

By HeadStillHurts - 26/10/2016 11:43

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 688

You deserved it 8 839

Balanced

By Anna - 28/04/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 414

Stretched out

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 12:00 - Germany - Heidenau

Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 356

Make a scene

By Doug - 21/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 283

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 851

You deserved it 7 535

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 066

You deserved it 7 742

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 604

You deserved it 3 117

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 7 849

Today, my boyfriend got a text from a "close female friend." The text was of her with no shirt on, and he quickly closed his phone. His explanation was that his female friends just want his opinion on how they look. I don't know what's worse, that there are several, or that he thinks I'm that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 208

Today, I was called a paedophile and was physically attacked, because I parked in a spot directly next to a McDonald’s outdoor play area and sat there for a while. I was waiting for my drive-through order, in the spot where the staff told me to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 108