Embarrassing

No, not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Estonia - Tartu

Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 819

You deserved it 1 051

Suspicious minds

By Embarrassed boss - 17/09/2025 09:00

Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 788

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 22:00

Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 472

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 000

You deserved it 8 232

Dear PornHub…

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 18:00

Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 264

That one move that impresses all the guys

By Claire - 31/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I spotted a guy I like slyly checking me out, so I did what I thought would be a dramatic but nonchalant hair flip. Instead, my hair got caught in the strap of my bag, and I ended up yanking myself backwards like a clumsy stuntman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 487

Don't tread on me

By Kate - 23/04/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 947

You deserved it 3 228

Check this out

By Roger Quimble - 24/05/2019 00:04

Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 267

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 860

You deserved it 3 094

A night to remember

By Donzai - 30/03/2009 22:17 - Canada

Today, I was at my boss's house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4-foot cake before passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 519

You deserved it 81 293

Munchies

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was munching on almonds while sitting through a long, boring Teams meeting. I was asked a question unexpectedly, causing me to choke while trying to swallow, right as I put the camera on & turned off mute. Some it sprayed out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 202

Get back here!

By brad - 03/06/2024 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, the slow, incompetent kitchen staff was keeping customers waiting for their food for 20 minutes. I got sick of a bunch of grown adults with kids my age ganging up on me, so I quit on the spot, and walked. Some guy grabbed me by the collar and dragged me back to the register. People cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 159

Toniiiiight, I'm a rock n roll staaaaaar

By NotKeithRichards - 06/09/2011 12:07 - United States

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 275

You deserved it 28 699

Manchild

By babysheets - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Uruguay

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 055

You deserved it 4 522

Wedding fatigue

By takeiteasy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5 a.m., and the party was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 804

You deserved it 34 976

Acting kinda sus

By sailinggsoul - 02/08/2019 00:01

Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 180

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 123

What's your morning routine?

By Oliveisthenewora - 05/04/2016 05:55 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I tried a DIY face mask that involved using turmeric spice. After keeping it on for 20 minutes, I tried washing it off, but I couldn't get rid of the orange residue it had left behind. Guess who's going to work tomorrow looking like an Oompa Loompa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 265

You deserved it 7 350

Right on time

By Debz - 29/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was already late so I sprinted to catch the bus. Just as I jumped on, my left shoe flew off, and I practically tripped over my own feet, falling flat on my face in a bus full of strangers. The driver asked, "You OK Ma’am?" while stifling laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 113

Let the man be happy!

By Anonymous - 16/02/2014 19:21 - United States - Glasgow

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 3 873

Damaged ego

By Anonymous - 30/07/2024 19:30 - India - Ernakulam

Today, I was selected for a big quiz and was teamed with a girl who I have a huge crush on. When we reached the venue, I tried to hop onto the stairs and I faceplanted onto the stairs and nearby event organisers had to come pick me up. After that, I couldn't look her in the eye, nor answer the quiz questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 505

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 117

Foot soldiers unite

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 15:00

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work and spent the entire day hobbling around in discomfort. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had forgotten to take remnants of the packing foam out of the tips of the shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 1 130

It is though

By Timv86 - 16/02/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 3 102

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Warren

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 102

Doofus

By Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 420

What happened next?

By Broke boy - 26/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 123

Overcompensating

By daddy's girl - 22/01/2013 04:08 - United States - Springfield

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 712

You deserved it 3 130

I hate shopping

By Kelly - 11/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried a polo neck sweater on at a store, and when I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway over my head. I panicked and tugged harder, only to realize I was now stuck inside, unable to get it off. A store employee finally saw me struggling and came help me. I'm never going back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 108

My favorite letter is L

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 112

You deserved it 51 310

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dogs Messy Animals Cute Love ACAB Cops Miscellaneous Thief NSFW Sex Intimacy Fight #FAFO Parents Sexism Kids Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Gross Poopoo peepee Farts Cheating Shopping Weird Vacation Holidays

The Top

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 416

You deserved it 3 414

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 165

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 663

You deserved it 9 812

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 114

You deserved it 46 915

Today, I had to do a presentation. No one else in my group showed up, so I had to do it alone. I was given a failing grade for presenting by myself, and therefore not being a "team player". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 70

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 104

You deserved it 1 657