Embarrassing

What happened here?

By Alex - 31/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at the office and having some fun spinning around in my chair. In my enthusiasm, I spun too fast, lost my balance, and crashed into the shelf behind me. The shelf didn't survive the impact, and I had 30 minutes to come up with a good excuse before everyone else came back from lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 551

Panic! at the grocery store

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 331

Negative aura

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend's dad by showing off my "impressive" knowledge of cars. When he mentioned she had a problem with her engine, I jokingly told him it was probably the “flux capacitor” that needed adjusting. He stared at me blankly and said, “You know that’s from Back to the Future, right?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 567

Skittish and wet

By JennieLee - 30/08/2024 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 218

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 653

Valuetainment

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to entertain my crush at a party by showing off my juggling skills. I confidently grabbed three random objects, not realizing one was a jar of pickles. Mid-juggle, the jar slipped and shattered, splashing pickle juice all over my crush. She just stared at me in disbelief, while I stood there smelling like vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 736

Freeze

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Plano

Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 156

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 688

You deserved it 45 432

What happened? Where are we?

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 06:00 - Italy

Today, I'm aware that being tied up by your rugby friends is something that happens after a night of drinking. Still being tied the following morning is less fun, especially when you’re outside a local school on a Monday morning, wearing nothing but a feather boa around your waist, and zip ties on your arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 203

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 557

Morning joe

By Christine.T - 27/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 791

Bitter

By superb12345 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cascade

Today, my parents posted nasty comments about each other on Facebook. I think they might secretly be 12 year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 733

You deserved it 1 014

Keeping up appearances

By vanessax - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Crown Point

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 576

You deserved it 23 458

Wardrobe malfunction

By Unknown - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight the shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow, and I tugged so hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 800

You deserved it 37 404

Body issues

By JeremySayz - 25/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was in an elevator with a coworker I barely know. My stomach thought that it was time to remind me I hadn’t eaten breakfast. It growled like a dying whale, and my coworker gave me a concerned look. To make it worse, the elevator got stuck for five minutes. We stood in awkward silence, with my stomach making noises the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 119

Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 474

You deserved it 27 389

Shame!

By Anonymous - 24/08/2024 00:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. When I got there they informed me that it was indeed on August 21st, but 2025. I showed up a year early. The embarrassment and awkwardness was probably felt by the people in the next building as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 129

Weird flex, but okay…

By Anonymous - 23/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 532

Bien joué

By ChelseaGirl - 22/08/2024 16:00 - France - Nice

Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 527

Introverts can relate

By Trev - 22/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 525

Let em in

By Kerrilyn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 171

You deserved it 55 359

Treat yourself day

By anon - 20/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my in-laws surprised us with an unannounced visit. I was in the middle of my weekly self-care routine, which includes a green face mask, curlers, and a bathrobe. When I opened the door, they looked horrified and my mother-in-law whispered, "Is this a bad time?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Depends, do you believe in aliens?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 115

Perfect 10

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 610

No ragrets

By Isabel - 19/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I showed my new tattoo to my friends. It's supposed to be a deep, philosophical quote in Latin, symbolizing strength and resilience. My friend, who happens to be fluent in Latin, started laughing hysterically. Turns out, it actually says, "You are dumb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 690

Don't do drugs, kids

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 3 594

Pumpkin spice season is coming

By Chris - 18/08/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was home alone and decided to try on my Halloween costume, a giant inflatable dinosaur suit. As I was prancing around the living room, my doorbell rang. Without thinking, I answered it. It was the mailman with a package. The look on his face as he handed a T-rex a box was priceless, but now he probably thinks I’m nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 423

Guitar hero

By Jammy Handtricks - 18/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 828

Occam's razor

By Lolololo - 18/08/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I called tech support because my new computer wasn’t turning on. After a long while on the phone, they finally asked if it was plugged in. It wasn’t. I spent way too long troubleshooting with a dead device because I never plugged it into the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 693

All heil!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my company released its yearly magazine and I was in the background of a picture directing men around the site. It was the worst photograph I’ve ever seen. It managed to make me look like Hitler with an exposed belly, including the moustache and the salute, and I don’t even have a moustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 117

Play that Blink 182 song

By Mommys boy - 16/08/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 402

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 195

Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 345

Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 967

Today, I found out I need to have emergency surgery, which is extremely convenient considering I'm literally supposed to be moving out of state in 2 days and my whole house is completely packed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 139

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 239

You deserved it 5 064

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 15 988