Embarrassing

Bad idea

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 239

Breakout

By Jennifer - 28/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview. The night before, I'd noticed a small pimple forming on my chin and did everything I could to make it go away. During the interview, I couldn’t focus on anything except the giant pimple that had sprouted on my forehead. I spent the entire time trying to keep my fringe in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 134

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a store trying to buy a birthday gift for my niece when I knocked over a stack of porcelain dolls. As they crashed to the floor, a security guard rushed over, but before I could apologize, I heard a tiny voice behind me: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” It was just another prank by my mortified son, but it was too late to stop people glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 118

Clapped out

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 03:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, the door handle on my car broke. Now I have to roll down the window and use the outside handle to get out. Not only is this annoying, but my girlfriend gets irrationally angry every time, and rants about how trashy it looks. I can't fucking help that the handle broke, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 142

Living the meme

By OliviaOlive - 24/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 89

Behave!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 278

That one special feeling

By Chris - 23/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went to a job interview, and halfway through my perfectly rehearsed answers, my stomach started growling loudly. I tried to keep calm, but then it let out the most embarrassing noise I’ve ever heard. The interviewer paused what he was saying, then said, "Are you hungry or do you need to fart?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 101

Feeling faint

By thatguy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 9 330

Lost and found

By Lauren - 19/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 438

Are they wrong?

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 13:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I slipped fell down an entire flight of stairs in front of literally everyone, and after getting back up, I tripped down another flight. Then, instead of silently walking away, I started laughing like a maniac and now everyone probably thinks I'm dumb, clumsy, and crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 184

Socially inept

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to a grocery store and tried one of those free samples of a new type of cheese. When I went to throw the toothpick away, I dropped it in a large container of olive oil. Not realizing it was a “special” display, I casually tried to scoop out the toothpick with my hand... only to get shooed away by an employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 557

Mind melting

By Ashley - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 619

You deserved it 8 221

Karen in seat 14A

By Dammit - 16/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 463

Slippin' up

By Caroline - 14/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my office, rocking my new noise-canceling headphones. Turns out, they work so well that I didn’t hear my coworker trying to warn me about the wet floor. Now I’m the proud owner of a bruised hip and a security camera video making the rounds on our Slack channels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 440

Flustered

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 137

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 123

Wake me up before you go go

By Sam - 13/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap while I was on my lunch break. When I woke up, I realized my coworker had put a Post-it note on my face that said, "Wake me up before I start drooling." I'd definitely drooled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 268

Day terrors

By Shameonme - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 694

You deserved it 61 672

Stuck on you

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 327

Big kid

By Pauly - 10/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 348

Well travelled

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 753

Numb

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Canton

Today, an accident, which ripped off skin off of one side of my penis (which healed fine) a year ago, now has a side effect. If I sit on a hard chair too long, that area gets numb to the point of being extremely uncomfortable and the only solution is to stand up and rub it until the numbness goes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 93

Mouth malfunction

By Melanie - 08/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 525

I'm OK, I swear

By Business - 06/02/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into an office at work, ready to ask everyone a question. I then blanked and forgot why I was there the second everyone turned to look at me. I just stood there, nodded, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 130

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 753

The cost of sucking up

By Louis DJ - 04/02/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant with my boss, trying to make a good impression. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, only to later realize I'd forgotten my wallet. My boss had to pay for the meal, and I'm wondering if my job in accounting is now on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 713

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 76

Scary!

By Heather - 03/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 82

Doofus

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 512

Leaps and bounds

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I'm well aware that this is my own fault, but I went to a friend's house after working late. Ran towards the friend's front door and hit my head a tree limb that I didn't see. Flipped over, landed on the lawn, and blacked out for a minute. I got up, was dizzy, tripped, and fell on friend's porch. Second concussion in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 165

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 941

You deserved it 3 346

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 2 166

Today, a friend told me he no longer wishes to be my friend, not because I did something, just because he no longer looks forward to seeing me, counts down every minute until a socially acceptable time to leave, and is always thinking up excuses to either be late or not come at all. Wow, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 184

Today, I texted my boyfriend, asking him to meet me when he finished work. Paranoid as he is, he took this to mean that I wanted to break up with him, and is ghosting me into oblivion. All I wanted was to see him on our 4-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 188

Today, despite being the president of the Japanese club at my school since it started, my mom will not let me go on a school-sponsored trip to Japan. She's worried that North Korea will fire a missile at Japan while I'm there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 845

You deserved it 294

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 408

You deserved it 3 884