Death

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

By Ghost - 14/12/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I was at my 10-year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screamed when she saw me. Then she started hitting me, looking panicked. I calmed her down and asked why she hit me. She says, "Everyone thought you were dead"' FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 864

You deserved it 2 811

By One less friend... - 17/05/2018 13:00 - United States - Schnecksville

Today, thinking my ex-gothic friend was going through another "wear all black" phase, I walked up to her and jokingly asked who died. Her father. Her father died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 3 943

Losing

By unemployed and bereaved - 25/11/2013 05:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I'm just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 709

You deserved it 2 831

Thanks for the memories

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 04:00

Today, I knew my mom wanted to go out to dinner with me and my sisters, and I couldn't remember why, so I called her and said, "Why are we going out to dinner?" and she goes, "Well, we always have." I forgot today's the anniversary of my stepdad dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 594

Girlfriends or girl friends?

By Charlotte - 25/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was going through my sibling’s old phones from high school, trying to find pictures of our deceased father. It turns out that all my girlfriends had sent my brother nudes at one point or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 215

Emoji etiquette

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my coworker texted me about her grandmother passing away. I meant to send a sad face but accidentally sent the party hat emoji. Now she probably thinks I was celebrating her grandma’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 301

Goodbye squared

By Lyingboyfriend - 24/07/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 3 355

Asshat

By lissa - 01/06/2021 11:01

Today, at school, some kid I’ve never liked came up to me and said, to my face, "I’m really happy to hear about your mom." She died two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 83

Sorry, son

By Waffle - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, a little boy called me, crying that "Grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say, "Wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 127

You deserved it 4 775

By tazthespaz - 29/12/2016 03:18 - United States - Comstock Park

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 213

You deserved it 396

Precious memories

By Mangler - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Belgium

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was, "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 645

You deserved it 5 348

No love lost

By burn in hell - 25/09/2012 21:28 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 040

You deserved it 1 967

Raincheck?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 17:00 - United States - League City

Today, it's a day before my birthday and I will be turning 14. My grandma died 5 days ago and in Indian culture you aren’t supposed to celebrate for 16 days after a loved one dies. I have dietary restrictions too and can’t eat eggs because of her death, which means I basically can’t have any sweets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 193

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 14:00

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 294

Great timing

By wideeyeddays - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Pasadena

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he'd had to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 227

You deserved it 1 703

RIP big dog

By Noah - 17/06/2024 20:00 - France

Today, I was supposed to bury my childhood dog at my mother's friend's place. I had to wake up at 5 a.m., spent two hours on the bus to be there in time, only for him to tell me that he'd actually buried my dog yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 82

Morrissey, circa 1986

By Super Soaker - 09/09/2022 03:30 - United States

Today, I learned the news about Queen Elizabeth in the most awkward way possible. My friend suddenly came into my house and shouted, "THE QUEEN IS DEAD!" It scared me so badly that I spit my drink out all over his clothes. Then I took another drink and spit it out again when I realized who he was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 502

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Username - 25/10/2010 11:03 - France

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 318

You deserved it 6 630

So far…

By sutz22 - 22/08/2023 00:02 - Italy

Today, marks the day I break up with my boyfriend after being cheated on for years, and getting a few STIs from him. It's also the year my mum died, and so did my dog, just 20 days apart. 2023 has not been my year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 140

Just what I needed to hear…

By RedGinger - 29/07/2022 18:00

Today, my cat woke me up an hour early so I could listen to my neighbors having sex at 6 a.m. My husband died 6 months ago, and was very sick for the previous 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 175

Tactful

By petlover - 23/11/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I had to put my 17 year-old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 243

You deserved it 3 873

Have kid they said, it'll be great they said

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 02:00

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 273

These people never learn

By My mother-in-law is a Covidiot - 20/04/2021 20:00

Today, I'm at my mother-in-law's funeral, who died of Covid-19. Months before catching the virus, she would claim that, "the entire Covid thang is bullshit" and "people are just behaving like f****ts over a simple flu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 224

Teenage Riot

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 19:59

Today, my teenage son reacted to the news of his cousin's death like I’d just told him a bug got squashed on a car windscreen. He didn’t even look away from his computer screen, or react in any way. He seemed more annoyed that I’d interrupted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 206

How could you?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 07:00 - Estonia

Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 157

Family Ties

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 03:59

Today, my future mother-in-law blamed me for the death of her husband because I should have taken him to the ER when she didn't feel like it. She then blamed me for her getting a new boyfriend less than two months later and making her son hate her when she insisted he call the guy "Dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 101

Fuel to the fire

By Why? - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Charles

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up by saying, "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 293

You deserved it 2 092

Serious business

By I really wish I was joking - 30/09/2023 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and called me a "cold, unfeeling bitch" because I wasn't "sad enough" over someone's death. Who died? A fictional character in the Dungeons And Dragons podcast we listen to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 106

What's worse?

By Ben - 21/10/2023 07:30

Today, after I'd saved up and frontloaded working hours for two weeks to ensure I'd have time and funds to go to a local show on my birthday, I received a call letting me know my father had a heart attack and was dying. He did pass away, at around 5AM on the morning of my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 116

Spirit world

By Anonymous - 21/01/2017 10:00

Today, I got another in a year-long string of threatening letters about my late mother's credit card bill. I've called the credit company repeatedly to settle the account, but they won't talk to me because I'm not authorized to access it. Hope they have a Ouija board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 016

You deserved it 498

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 163

You deserved it 88 985

Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 037

You deserved it 14 128

Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 453

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 4 721

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house with his family. A kitten walked over to me with an engagement ring tied to its collar, along with a note that said "Marry Me?" I got super excited, only to find out that it was for his brother's girlfriend of 10 months, not me. We've been together 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 482

You deserved it 1 530

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 373

You deserved it 31 617