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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Who the **** are you?

    By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 05:23 - Canada

    Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 71 210
    You deserved it 7 613
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    Keywords

    Cleaning Family Love Weird Awkward Football Miscellaneous Mental health Sports Relatable Allergies Kids Trust Suspicious Parents School Pregnancy Insects Intimacy Sex Clothes Teenagers Geek Ironic Job interview Work Scary Creepy Roommate Neighbours
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 17 595
    You deserved it 47 272
    Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 22 210
    You deserved it 65 523
    Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 159
    You deserved it 4 981
    Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 048
    You deserved it 425
    Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 441
    You deserved it 1 624
    Today, to my horror, I discovered I will owe child support for the kids my ex and I adopted together since she couldn't have any. I've met someone else and I'm planning on having real kids with her, but these payments will destroy everything. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 85
    You deserved it 1 404
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