Homeless · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

You snooze, you lose

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My boss's daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much that she made an offer on the house. We were one week away from making an offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 485 You deserved it 34 769

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Anonymous · 4 January 2025, 00:00 ·Lower Hutt, New Zealand

Mid-life crisis

Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 3 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Time to bail

Today, I'm so tired of life. I work 16 hour shifts. My fiancee takes me for granted and I mean that seriously, I have to work 16 hours, 5 days a week, come home, take care of the house and the kids, while I listen to her complain about her 40 hour week. No sex and I don't control my money. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 339

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Anonymous · 3 January 2025, 20:00 ·Carlsbad, United States

The struggle is real

Today, I spent 3 hours looking for a roll of tape. I didn't find the tape. I still need the tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195 You deserved it 344

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I_Lossed · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Terrible exchange rate

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 136 You deserved it 4 889

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Nunya · 3 January 2025, 15:00 ·Sydney, Australia

Just my luck

Today, after walking on the beach for an hour with a friend, I noticed I'd lost my car keys. Thirty minutes from my friend's house, three hours from mine. It was getting dark & the tide was rising. We retraced our steps with no luck; the keys could’ve been washed away. I'd also locked my keys in the car earlier this week an hour from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207 You deserved it 507

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Anonymous · 3 January 2025, 12:00 ·Germany

Straight into my veins

Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · 3 January 2025, 09:00 ·Sydney, Canada

Girl…

Today, I’m questioning everything about me. I’ve been in a relationship with the same guy for almost 3 years now, high school sweethearts if you will. Now I’m starting to question if I even like guys. I’ve never gotten off to a guy, but women? I’ve always gotten off to them. My boyfriend is so sweet, I don’t know how to do this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 227

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alynn · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Scams galore

Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 371 You deserved it 8 101

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Anonymous · 3 January 2025, 03:00 ·Wollongong, Australia

That dang Ozempic

Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 597 You deserved it 94

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Anonymous · 3 January 2025, 00:00 ·Moora, Australia

Odd rewarding system

Today, one of my uni professors held a contest for the first half of my first semester. 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 5th got a brand new textbook requisite to the course. Me, who came in 4th? A 2” used plastic toy owl that she pulled out of her purse. I moved 300km to attend here, attend lectures faithfully and score A+. WTH? FML

I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 111

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Joe · 2 January 2025, 22:00 ·San Pedro Sula, Honduras

Hope you have one of those too

Today, I posted a Happy New Year status for all my Latino friends and family. Well, I missed that año is different from ano, and I used the wrong letter and thus wished everyone a "Happy New Anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 485

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Sometimes you gotta get tough · 2 January 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Busted

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639 You deserved it 116

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LostInSunday · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Fight! Fight!

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 563 You deserved it 2 956

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Anonymous · 2 January 2025, 15:00 ·United States

What's wrong with me?

Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379 You deserved it 176

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poopface82 · 2 January 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Bad start

Today, after my girlfriend’s grandmother died over the holidays, both my kids are sick, my beloved aunt is on death’s doorstep and, to top it off, my car’s brakes are shot. I don’t know if I will ever not be stressed the hell out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 102

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Used · 2 January 2025, 09:00 ·Miami, United States

Some friend you are

Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583 You deserved it 214

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myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Australia

See ya later

Today, my sister drove past me while I was walking home in the rain. She honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 238 You deserved it 3 607

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Anonymous · 2 January 2025, 03:00 ·Tucson, United States

Happy new year, huh?

Today, my husband of 12 years announced that he wants a divorce and that he hadn't liked me in YEARS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575 You deserved it 147

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It means child p*rn · 2 January 2025, 00:00 ·Edison, United States

If you know, you know

Today, I was at a party, and heard a mutual acquaintance had been arrested. I asked what for, and was told "Cheese pizza." I yelled in confusion and outrage, since I thought they were joking. I was told later in private what "Cheese pizza" meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417 You deserved it 175

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475pies · 1 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Same shit, different year

Today, me and my friend were walking down our school hallway, only to be pushed down by the bully group. I got up and smacked them in the face with my lunchbox. I then got ISS. Middle school sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 108

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Iohn michael · 1 January 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Private life

Today, a girl I rejected, who is also a good friend, wrote on Facebook, “I’m never letting a guy get close to me again!” when I finally posted my new girlfriend. I avoided posting her before to avoid hurting her feelings because I knew she was still pining for me. Now I feel like an asshole and I lost a good friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 240

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Moving On · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

New year, new you

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 870 You deserved it 9 777

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Anonymous · 1 January 2025, 15:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Reliable

Today, I loudly proclaimed my New Year’s resolution was to stop drinking. I made this declaration while holding a margarita in one hand and a beer in the other, in the middle of a rowdy New Year's Eve party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 You deserved it 578

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Anonymous · 1 January 2025, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Experimental

Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 1 January 2025, 09:00 ·Lower Hutt, New Zealand

Grouchy old hag

Today, I was ordering a new vape for my Grandma online, since she refuses to use the internet. When I told her that the type of vape she uses wasn't available anymore, she screamed, "WELL THEN, I'LL JUST GET A CARTON OF CIGARETTES, AND SMOKE THEM UNTIL I GET CANCER!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 406 You deserved it 93

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EdwinOEF · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United Arab Emirates

All is quiet on New Year's Day

Today, I flew to Dubai, en route to my new job in Afghanistan. Both of my bags were lost, my debit card was frozen in London, the next flight was cancelled, and I can't get a hotel room. I'm in the richest city in world with no money and no room. Happy New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 130 You deserved it 3 151

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Anonymous · 1 January 2025, 03:00 ·Delhi, United States

Moving day

Today, the water stopped working in our apartment. We are supposed to be moving into a new place tomorrow, so we asked the landlord if we could move in a day early. Upon arrival, we found that the water tank needed to be installed, so there's no water here either. We are now admitting defeat and checking into a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 1 January 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Happy new year

Today, I hosted a New Year’s Eve party, but everyone left at 11:45 PM to go to another party because "it sounded more fun." I rang in the new year alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570 You deserved it 139

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Anonymous · 31 December 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Glummy new year

Today, I spent all year avoiding COVID, colds, and flu. On December 30th, I caught the worst cold of my life. I’ll be ringing in the new year in bed, with tissues as my only company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 124

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