Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill the sheet out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Today, my boss finally worked out that by not giving the lads a pay rise to £18 an hour, instead just offering them overtime when necessary, it actually cost the equivalent of raising each employees salary to £26 an hour, for a whole year. He’s is blaming me because I issue the pay checks. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML
Today, after I got a great job at my asking salary, my boss then quit without telling me my salary was maxed out. I learned this when, two years in a row, I got a 1% raise because I'm redlined. With inflation, my take-home pay has dropped by 15% in two years. FML
Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML
Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML
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Top comments
k649 0
Hahah, I'm having a difficult time seeing how they deserved this one.
potentpotable 0
#8 is right, this is not exactly the prime time to be wandering out there on the job market, nor to cash in on that nest egg. The "get a new job" argument works...if you're still stuck in the 90s.
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Comments (21)
k649 0
Hahah, I'm having a difficult time seeing how they deserved this one.
hanamama 0
@ #4... as if it's just so easy to go out and find a new job in times like these. @ OP - sorry, but can't see this happening.
SEXMUFFIN21 0
that's obviously not true. if you really deserved the raise, he would have filled the sheet out
potentpotable 0
#8 is right, this is not exactly the prime time to be wandering out there on the job market, nor to cash in on that nest egg. The "get a new job" argument works...if you're still stuck in the 90s.
rayray_fml 0
I would have done that to you.
dwights 0
hahahha # 3 you are epic.
King_of_Kings 3
atleast you have a job.
somethingvague 0
Daaaaamn. #3: Nice
Niki_Nonsense 0
dude almost the same thing happened to me but he had to do a full evaluation, send it to his boss, and then actually give me an evaluation. he didn't like to do that. it took me 2 months to force him to do it and in the end, his boss wouldn't let me have a raise because i was only good and not excellent. and only excellent managers deserve raises even though i was being graded on things that i'm not required to do so i'm not good at them. i don't ever do them. my boss handed me $20 though even though it could get him fired. he said that i deserved it. i love my boss. even if he is lazy.
musicalmandi16 0
#3 i love you