Nathalieeeee · 10 August 2025, 20:00 ·Newark, United States

Mortified

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 119

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sorrygrandma · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Got talent?

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983 You deserved it 4 287

212 comments Share

KittyT · 10 August 2025, 15:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Goddamn climate change!

Today, one year after I purchased my house, I planned to have a fire pit to celebrate. It turned out to be the only rainy day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 10 August 2025, 12:00 ·Canada

You're fit but don't you know it

Today, I was running at the gym, feeling like a fitness influencer. I increased the treadmill speed to “sprint” mode. My shoelace got caught in the belt, and I was launched backward into a rack of yoga mats, knocking them over like bowling pins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231 You deserved it 354

1 comment Share

I…… · 10 August 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Toot toot

Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 93

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Colorado Springs, United States

Boozehound

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 586 You deserved it 21 764

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Anonymous · 10 August 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Knock yourself out

Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 10 August 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Toxic AF

Today, my now ex-boyfriend begged me not to take an amazing promotion at my job. He reasoned that he’d be emasculated and humiliated if he had a girlfriend that outranked and out-earned him. I had to celebrate alone as my whole family lives in another state. Congrats to me but also, FML

I agree, your life sucks 695 You deserved it 117

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Debora · 9 August 2025, 22:00 ·Australia

Take it seriously

Today, during a virtual class, I thought I was muted and said, “I’m gonna fake a technical issue and take a nap.” The professor responded, “Let us know how the nap goes.” I never logged back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 You deserved it 698

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Yak · 9 August 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Say it, don't spray it

Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 56

0 comment Share

rimjob · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Woof

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 946 You deserved it 43 612

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Anonymous · 9 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Heated gaming moment

Today, I got a call from my son's friend's dad, demanding I pick him up immediately. When I arrived, he marched me into the house and pointed at an Xbox controller lodged in the wall, informing me I'd be receiving the bill for drywall repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 218

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Anonymous · 9 August 2025, 12:00 ·San Francisco, United States

It's a trap!

Today, I was ranting to my friend on the phone about my toxic ex, calling him a “walking red flag with a God complex.” Mid-sentence, she cut me off, saying, “Uh… you're on speaker. He’s in the car with me.” He chimed in with, “I mean… fair enough.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 487 You deserved it 142

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Anonymous · 9 August 2025, 09:00 ·Australia

Messy

Today, I absent-mindedly poured the putrid water from the sink’s air trap into the sink that I'd just removed the air trap out of, and flooded the cupboard I then had to crawl into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215 You deserved it 346

1 comment Share

gaga · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·San Jose, United States

Many such cases

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 095 You deserved it 39 511

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Anonymous · 9 August 2025, 03:00 ·United States

How to make it awkward for everyone

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 467

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Sarah · 9 August 2025, 00:00 ·Manchester, United Kingdom

Checking in

Today, I joined a Zoom call thinking it was a casual check-in. I was wearing a hoodie, sat cross-legged on my bed, and was sipping wine. I realised as it began that it was a formal client presentation with the CEO present. No one said anything… until after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 695

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Clean up slob ass · 8 August 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Work/life balancing act

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 1 272

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Anonymous · 8 August 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Stolen valor

Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 467

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kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Woodville, Australia

Bedtime

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 666 You deserved it 1 712

55 comments Share

Frankie · 8 August 2025, 15:00 ·Dallas, United States

Public transportation blues

Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461 You deserved it 88

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Anonymous · 8 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Social media etiquette

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 529

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WTF · 8 August 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Red flag

Today, I was interviewing someone for a job at my restaurant. When I said ,"We're like a family here," she wordlessly got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 You deserved it 895

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MCRxforever · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Thanks guys

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 217 You deserved it 3 711

150 comments Share

Chelsea · 8 August 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Sorry

Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 685

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Anonymous · 8 August 2025, 00:00 ·Boulder, United States

Freudian slip

Today, I sent a screenshot of my ex’s new partner to my best friend with a caption saying, “She looks like a melted candle.” Of course, I sent it directly to my ex. He replied with, “She’s right next to me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 You deserved it 639

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Anonymous · 7 August 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Hanging out

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397 You deserved it 156

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Clumsy & Forgetful · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Trump card

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 521 You deserved it 6 153

120 comments Share

Anonymous · 7 August 2025, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Who's the boss?

Today, I found out I don’t run my own company, my secretary does, by deliberately ignoring or changing my “little moments of idiocy.” I pulled her up on it so she showed me, in some detail, including documents I signed, proving that if she’d let me be in charge, I’d have gone bankrupt in 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 You deserved it 836

7 comments Share

Mustanggt · 7 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Tex Avery moment

Today, my roommate took my car without permission while I was at work. He downshifted to pass someone, but went from 5th to 2nd gear, and practically most of the engine went straight out of the tailpipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526 You deserved it 67

2 comments Share