Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
DeeDeeJay 15
I don't know if it was an accident or if he did it on purpose.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
If that's what he thought you meant, you'd think he would at least ask you "uhm.... you want me to do what?".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
DeeDeeJay 15
I don't know if it was an accident or if he did it on purpose.
Pesticides 19
Most likely on purpose. See, back in 'nam the Vietcong would torture p.o.w.s performing "maintenance" on their pearly whites. Maybe sitting in a chair with metal instruments jogged his memory slightly and he spitting on his tormentor was reflexive. Or he just didn't understand directions.
MortenM 17
He's been tortured by the dentist. Proper payback imo
Opinion_ 9
Then he shouldn't have gone, it was his choice.
glabberfasted 16
The dentist only "tortures" you if you don't take proper care of your teeth. It shouldn't hurt, and if it does, it means you need to floss and brush more. I hate when people complain about their dentist or hygienist hurting them, when it's easily avoided by just flossing.
CookieLovesBoo 16
I have sensitive gums so either way it would hurt me And I do take care of my teeth
NiceGuysDoWin 21
54 - that's not always the case. genetics plays a huge part. My dad had full dentures by the time he was 30, and mom had dentures at 37. I brush 4 to 5 times a day and floss at least once a day, and I've had $20,000 worth of dental work. 16 root canals, 19 crowns, and every time I go to the dentist, they find more cavities....I also have issues with novacaine, and it tends to wear off in the middle of the procedure. Just because it doesn't hurt YOU to go to the dentist, doesn't mean that it's a pleasurable experience for everyone else.
Beansforbill 14
Did you spit back into his? Maybe it's a form of communication.
iLike2Teabag 27
Yea, because that's really professional, right?
DeeDeeJay 15
Then he'll probably lose his job
Grenith 21
I thought it was funny. People took your comment too seriously *hands you a gold star*
Beansforbill 14
*puts gold star on fridge and cherishes it forever *
glabberfasted 16
Please tell me this is an Ace Ventura reference?
VonBlitzkrieg 27
If that's what he thought you meant, you'd think he would at least ask you "uhm.... you want me to do what?".
Medd_fml 13
Poor old guy is really losing it. You're a good person for putting up with that.
XxxT3rr4xxX 25
That is quite rude to say the least.
Kamon97 23
I really hope that was a misunderstanding >.
amzing_a16 10
I hoped for world peace once... Do you really think it's a misunderstanding now!?
Kamon97 23
What does that have to do with anything? >.
acurita 8
@35 It was supposed to be a face: ">.
acurita 8
Ah come on -.-
girlbye23 15
Thats a 'spitty' situation OP
amzing_a16 10
Where have you been? "That's a ____ situation" comments" Aren't even punny anymore...
ElatedEarthling 15
I've heard enough shitty situation comments. But personally I found the spitty situation comment kind of funny.
vipirius 18
Yeah at least spitty situation is original.
jazzy_123 20
11, oh and you really thing saying a pun isn't "punny" is cute?
NiceGuysDoWin 21
When you are old, you can get away with pretty much anything by just blaming it on senility. Some of the funniest things I've ever seen were FU@#*D UP pranks pulled by my grandparents that I'd never even consider trying. But this one is beyond wrong. Sorry to be you OP.
Headcrab 29
old and/or deaf... what an ass.
hellnosucka 27
did you by any chance have a spittoon attached to your face at that moment?