arrrrrlennie

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About Arrrrrlennie

Gotta love reading these posts and comments.

Arrrrrlennie - Followers

Arrrrrlennie - Followed

Arrrrrlennie's page visits

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Hugged!

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Arrrrrlennie's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Arrrrrlennie's favorite FMLs

It's Thursday!

By horriblefashionsense - 26/09/2013 15:20 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 639

You deserved it 6 281

Better call Saul

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 583

You deserved it 24 550

By knee pain - 09/12/2013 19:17 - United States

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 133

You deserved it 4 042

By Lemurcat - 11/12/2013 16:56 - United States - Ventura

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 5 226

Lemurcat tells us more.

Lemurcat 12

Wednesday 11 December 2013 19:40

I did not expect this to get published! Just to fill you guys in a bit, I did check the buses before leaving home since I just moved here the day before. I like to double check because my memory is poor so I did ask the bus driver, but she said she didn't go to that perticular bus stop (the bus stop near my house for those who are wondering, and yes, she did stop there, she was just confused because I didn't know the streets and was describing landmarks) and she kinda just blew me off. So I was standing around, confused like an idiot and this guy told me to take bus 6. He sounded like he was legitamently trying to help, and I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so stupid me took his advice. However, I'm not the kind of person to confront people so, I just called him a dickhole and walked away. I wish I could tell you guys that I kicked his ass, but oh well. I did figure out the buses and I'm riding like a pro now. And I even got a booklet to help me if I'm ever lost again. :D

By livingamongtheflowers - 15/05/2014 05:40 - United States

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 090

You deserved it 5 505

Happy Doggo Day!

By Holyguacamoly - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Iceland

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 289

You deserved it 4 959

Dorito Man

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 011

You deserved it 7 695

By not a dick-man - 12/08/2014 17:05 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 772

You deserved it 31 617

Army dudes

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 17:39 - United States - Glendale

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 4 222

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 897

You deserved it 52 101

By lifesux17 - 27/02/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 380

You deserved it 9 002

lifesux17 tells us more.

lifesux17 0

Friday 27 February 2009 11:35

A. It was MY vibrator, not my moms... B. I'm 19 years old, not too old to still live with your parents and old enough to own a vibrator (though i didnt know there was an age where you had to be "old enough") , to the rest of you, im glad my misery and embarrassment added some laughter to your day :) this website is great for that :)

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 352

You deserved it 4 365

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 920

You deserved it 30 119

Noped outta there

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance, which is one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I was waiting in his driveway with balloons, I saw his car reverse and go in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 091

You deserved it 20 432

By forrealiluvmyslf - 13/04/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 864

You deserved it 6 451

forrealiluvmyslf tells us more.

forrealiluvmyslf 6

Tuesday 14 April 2009 17:46

The date lasted 4 hours and he took me home with the intention of going home. Not fat, not ugly...His friend ended up inviting him out. I approached him at the club to say hi and kept it moving because I was with friends. I danced with a few other people, including him. He called the next day. I actually made a joke about how funny it would be if I saw him to a friend before we went out. Wasn't down about it, just thought the irony was FML-worthy --- Some of yall are cruel! lol

By meteorbabe0101 - 14/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801 068

You deserved it 66 008

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 57

Focus

By TMI - 20/04/2009 17:12 - United States

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me about the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 520

You deserved it 7 079

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 14:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 855

You deserved it 18 897

By catlady1989 - 10/05/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481 023

You deserved it 71 089

catlady1989 tells us more.

catlady1989 0

Monday 11 May 2009 0:45

You people are so cruel. They were indentical except collar color. I said which one and he still messed up. My normal vet was closed because of Mothers day so the pound was the one to do it. I can't believe some of the things you people are saying... it is so hurtful... and both my cats did end up being put down...