By Few_Absolutes - 12/10/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 221
You deserved it 8 805

Few_Absolutes tells us more.

Wellllll ... I'm not 100% sure that someone DIDN'T see it. People are such backstabbers in my office that no one would ever say it to your face; they'd just gossip about you at the water cooler.

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"The mess was beyond repair" WTF? Was it like, dripping down your leg or something? Did the raw power of the shart rip through your underwear and through your pants?

if theres 1 important lesson to be learned in life its "never trust a fart"

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"The mess was beyond repair" WTF? Was it like, dripping down your leg or something? Did the raw power of the shart rip through your underwear and through your pants?

LMAO @ "hersheyed"!! Chocolate will never be the same again.

Lololololololol "the raw power" I'm freaking dying ;D

hahahahaha gross

LMAO @ raw power LMAO @ hersheyed!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

That's quite shitty.

...And that's a rather unfortunate pun.

if theres 1 important lesson to be learned in life its "never trust a fart"

It wants to leave me - woohoo It wants to relieve me - woohoo It'll never hurt me - woohoo Woohoo - Hooo, Hooo Don't trust a fart... Never trust a fart.... Don't trust a fart... 'Cause a fart won't trust me....

Oh, FUCK 3OH!3.... what a terrible "band". Ugh.

When I picture absolute power I imagine the fart Just blowing a hole through your shorts was it really that bad?

"beyond repair" I lol'd...

More cunning and dangerous than the shart from "Jaws." What was fake about the family emergency? You prevented your family name from being indelibly stained.

I love how this was written XD

Happened to me once, but at home, not work.

ill keep this simple. dont fart in public. :D

sometimes you just can't help it but fart wherever you are

Especially if you have a stomach ache that feels like it's going to kill you and this is the only way to relieve some of the pain.

Hahahahabahababababa