By Few_Absolutes - 12/10/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 241
You deserved it 8 812

Few_Absolutes tells us more.

Few_Absolutes 0
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Wellllll ... I'm not 100% sure that someone DIDN'T see it. People are such backstabbers in my office that no one would ever say it to your face; they'd just gossip about you at the water cooler.

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allmidnighteyes 10
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"The mess was beyond repair" WTF? Was it like, dripping down your leg or something? Did the raw power of the shart rip through your underwear and through your pants?

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SmilesAlotXD 0
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if theres 1 important lesson to be learned in life its "never trust a fart"

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itxheather 0

lol

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allmidnighteyes 10
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"The mess was beyond repair" WTF? Was it like, dripping down your leg or something? Did the raw power of the shart rip through your underwear and through your pants?

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Vitamin_C 0
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LMAO @ "hersheyed"!! Chocolate will never be the same again.

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varsity_gijane 0

LMFAO hersheyed

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Labamba 0

Lololololololol "the raw power" I'm freaking dying ;D

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Jobin52 0
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hahahahaha gross

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smlz4me 1
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LMAO @ raw power LMAO @ hersheyed!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

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Arcterion 0
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That's quite shitty.

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CrazyOldSoldier 0
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...And that's a rather unfortunate pun.

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SmilesAlotXD 0
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if theres 1 important lesson to be learned in life its "never trust a fart"

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GDI 0
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It wants to leave me - woohoo It wants to relieve me - woohoo It'll never hurt me - woohoo Woohoo - Hooo, Hooo Don't trust a fart... Never trust a fart.... Don't trust a fart... 'Cause a fart won't trust me....

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CousinSkeeter 0

Win!

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allmidnighteyes 10
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Oh, FUCK 3OH!3.... what a terrible "band". Ugh.

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Catkam623 27
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When I picture absolute power I imagine the fart Just blowing a hole through your shorts was it really that bad?

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NGM_47 0

"beyond repair" I lol'd...

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plexico 3
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More cunning and dangerous than the shart from "Jaws." What was fake about the family emergency? You prevented your family name from being indelibly stained.

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xOblivion 0
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I love how this was written XD

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the_7 0

Happened to me once, but at home, not work.

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volcomxbabiix3 0

ill keep this simple. dont fart in public. :D

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wah_face 0
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sometimes you just can't help it but fart wherever you are

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Blippety 23
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Especially if you have a stomach ache that feels like it's going to kill you and this is the only way to relieve some of the pain.

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Tarak_fml 7
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Hahahahabahababababa

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