Scars_fml

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Scars_fml's favorite FMLs

By Enragedbitch - 20/10/2012 08:49 - United States - Torrance

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

agreeclassic 32 610

vote type 1 2 358

By Watchtower? More like fortress. - 19/10/2012 21:39 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

agreeclassic 22 790

vote type 1 2 523

Sweet relief

By best_mom_ever - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Juliet

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

agreeclassic 31 289

vote type 1 6 961

By nahalDZ - 20/10/2012 17:29 - Germany - K?ln

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

agreeclassic 25 508

vote type 1 5 337

The Soprano

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

agreeclassic 19 787

vote type 1 12 253