Wurdz is hard

By Holy Testacles - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression, "Knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as, "Kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 133
You deserved it 7 934

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That's brilliant

IconicLemon 8

HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!


That's brilliant

Knock yourself out Knock out Wipe you out Exterminate you Eliminate you Bleh Meh Kill yourself. Yes, word association cum thesaurus in the brain is brilliant.

Inheritance 10

Her blank expression of surprise and what the hell was more or less priceless I bet.

LiesAndMischief 4

This is literally the first FML that actually made me laugh out loud. While everyone else in the house is sleeping, of course.

greenimk 4

"Hey can I borrow your phone?" "Kill yourself out." "..."


Seems like he's been on the internet for too long.

IconicLemon 8

HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!

That also might have been a good test to see if the girl got a sense of humor as well.

You're a Champion!

'hey can I borrow your phone please?' 'kill yourself' Haha aw OP

I can imagine this relationship a few years down the road, OP pulls out a ring: "Will you.. Will you.. Will you blow me?"

Well that escalated quicky...

Wiringify 22

A few years is not so quick.

55 - She was talking about the 'blow me vs. marry me' comment. Open ze eyes

imavelociraptor 6

Well now she's DYING to go out with you :) Let us know how your first date goes OP.

Yeap. If only scoring a first date was as easy as lending someone a phone... Time to get out of the basement and into the real world chief.

BellaBelle_fml 23

Hey you never know when, where, or how you could meet your future bf/gf or spouse. My grandparents met on a train. My Papa was sitting in the aisle seat and my Nana was standing fairly close to him when the train suddenly lurched forward sending my Nana right into my Papa's lap! And the rest is history :)

25 And that's where babies come from!

imavelociraptor 6

12- for someone who spends so much time in the "real world" you have a very poor understanding of sarcasm. Video chatting doesn't count..... Chief :)

shit happens... FYL, dude :)

KiddNYC1O 20

5- That's why we're on this site.

Haha great story to tell your grand children

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I hope you apologized and corrected yourself and then had a good laugh about it with her. :)

Ks22 4

Did she use the phone after you said that? How funny though.

Snackycake 20

Op's username:D

CharresBarkrey 15

... Is spelled wrong.

Testicles + tentacles = testacles. Op was cursing over a male squid/octopus.

CheeseTron 15

Chuck testa

testaments plus testicles makes testacles

You should have went on and said "kill yourself, for you must have been an angel, and this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you". Starry, starry night...