werty30

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Werty30's favorite FMLs

By ScoobieDoo - 20/03/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

agreeclassic 545

vote type 1 99

The bird's the word

By anonymous - 26/06/2012 06:05 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

agreeclassic 30 108

vote type 1 6 067

Bad breakup idea

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Switzerland - Wildberg

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

agreeclassic 36 328

vote type 1 4 461

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

agreeclassic 23 441

vote type 1 4 336

By BTM13 - 06/05/2012 03:19 - United States - Hicksville

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

agreeclassic 22 516

vote type 1 4 850

BTM13 app_comment_confession_title

BTM13 8

Tuesday 8 May 2012 3:03

Of course I did. Like shopping carts, keyboard help us out a lot in life and deserve to be recognized. XD