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The war on Christmas

By Juan - 23/09/2026 00:00 - Mexico

Today, my older sister forced me to tell my nephews, 8 and 6, that Santa Claus does not exist, because she was recently fired from her job and is too much of a coward to tell them she will no longer give them any Christmas gifts for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 96

Hangry

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 94

Not now, Mom!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 102

Unsteady

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 71

The squits

By Nina - 17/08/2026 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, it’s my first full official day with my adoptive dad. To celebrate, he took me out to a fancy restaurant for lunch. Lunch was great. The ride home less so. Let’s just say spicy lunch plus upset stomach equals diarrhea, which makes for a smelly NOT fun ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 90

Lookalike

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 12:00

Today, I finally got with the hot guy from work. We were laying in bed, smiling at each other afterwards, when his eyes traveled down my body and he blurts out, "THAT'S who you look like! Have you ever seen Moana? Yeah, you look JUST like THAT MAUI GUY! WOW!" I'm a woman. A 5ft4 woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 119

Wakey wakey

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 20:00

Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 110

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 12:00

Today I booked an Airbnb for a few days and the instructions for the television were a laminated sheet saying, “It’s a tv, not a supercomputer, figure it out snowflake!” I can’t work out how to move it from Sky to Netflix; I’ve tried every possible button, menu, and setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 136

Just perfect

By Anonymous - 17/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally told my boss that I need a week off to recharge; I presented dates, reasons, and felt brave. He nodded approvingly, then checked my calendar and asked, “Perfect, can you train the new hires that week?” I stared at my triumphant note then mourned my stolen week. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 112

Close call

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 00:00

Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 93

Perverts!

By Not that type of friend! - 05/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, my husband and I have been trying to find a new friend group ever since we moved states for his job. As if trying to meet people as adults isn’t hard enough, everyone thinks that just because we’re friendly, we must be flirting. We legit just want new people to hang with, not swing with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 67

Panic

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 09:00

Today, I was supposed to be on my way to Hawaii for a long-planned family vacation, but I had an anxiety attack that I couldn't explain. Now I'm lying in bed and crying, and my phone is blowing up with texts and calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 204

Jammed

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 15:00

Today, I pulled out of my parking lot to head to physical therapy and the alleyway was blocked by some traffic. I nudged over to allow a garbage truck to pull in and my passenger window shattered against a dumpster handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 92

Great management skills

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 15:00 - Germany - Kempten (Allgäu)

Today, my boss screamed at me because I didn't do what he'd said, despite him never giving me a specific order. A colleague was supposed to test an app. He can only do that with a tablet. How dare I give the coworker the tablet I was setting up anyway and not a specific one? He is done testing BTW. The app sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 69

Not worth a divorce, but still…

By NotMyFault - 25/06/2026 09:00 - Germany

Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 174

Line must go up

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 15:00

Today, I'm due to be packing my hospital bag to give birth tomorrow before Easter weekend. Instead I'm answering client emails, and ignoring sarcastic colleague emails asking "Have you gone into labor yet?" as I haven't been fully responsive on text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 92

Time comes for everyone

By So old - 22/07/2026 03:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my favorite band from my teenage years was played on an oldies station on the car radio. To make matters worse, my sixteen year-old niece who was in the car, had never heard of them. I’m only 31, but damn, I feel old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 136

It's just harsh noise

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I got to endure another "fun" team-building personality test. Like usual, it said I was defensive and using a belief that I can't follow conversations. I literally can't due to auditory processing issues. My coworkers keep assuring me it's safe to open up. Fuck psychology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 94

Making plans for Nigel

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 22:00

Today, my best friend, who is dying of cancer, named her younger brother as next of kin for her kids. He's like 19 and knows nothing about taking care of kids. I keep begging and pleading with her that I can take the kids, and that my wife and I are capable, but she says no. Only family can have her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 206

Bent out of shape

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 15:00

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I thought I was joining a “Beginner Yoga” class, but it turned out to be advanced hot yoga. I lasted six minutes before falling out of a pose, knocking over two water bottles, and crawling out of the room like a wounded crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 124

I'm so tired

By So tired - 19/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I worked a night shift at the hospital so long that I started putting things in the wrong pockets. I realized at 4 a.m. that I had taken a patient’s pen, my own phone charger, and two packaged crackers home in my scrub top. I also left my badge in the fridge next to the milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 99

They grow up so fast

By NoGrandkids - 06/05/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 102

Squeaker of the house

By Awkward - 13/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I wore new shoes to a wedding. Halfway through the ceremony, the left shoe started squeaking with every step. During the silent vows, I had to walk across the room sounding like an angry rubber duck while people turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 127

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 146

Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 19/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I tripped and fell down some stairs at a family gathering. Instead of making sure I was OK, everyone laughed at me. Including my quadriplegic uncle, who asked his personal support worker to lift his arm just so he could point and laugh with everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 64

Hey chat

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 09:00

Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 93

Cats are cool dudes

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, someone (probably my ex) released a bunch of cats into my house. I’m pants-shittingly, deathly afraid of cats. Animal control can’t guarantee that they caught them all because they have no way of knowing how many were in there in the first place. I’m too terrified to be at home now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 134

I hope not

By Sarah - 24/06/2026 20:00 - United States - The Bronx

Today, I pooped my pants for the first time, ever. At least since I was a baby. I just turned 38; is this what getting older looks like? FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 82

They didn't yet call them selfies in 2001

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found a box of old photos in my mom's house. This is how I discovered that her and her boyfriend at the time thought it was a great opportunity for a selfie… with the World Trade Center towers billowing smoke behind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 91

Thanks, I guess…

By Well, that's just bollocks - 17/09/2026 03:00 - Mexico - Tlalpan

Today, my girlfriend gave me her ex-boyfriend's hoodie as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 54

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The Top

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 005

You deserved it 313 070

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 991

You deserved it 5 712

Random

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 169

You deserved it 29 892

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 727

You deserved it 4 325

Today, I asked my boyfriend, who loves board games, to give me advice on a board game I'm making. I ended up crying in the fetal position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 471

Today, I found out my husband has another Instagram account. I tried adding it but it’s a private account. When I asked about it, he claimed he didn’t know what I was talking about and threw a fit about how I’m “butting into people’s business.” I went to check the account again to show him. “User not found.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 233

Today, my girlfriend has such a bad ear infection that she's leaking yellow pus, but she still refuses antibiotics, calling them "white man's poison" and insisting that "indigenous healing" will cure her. This translates to listening to drum music and dancing, then vomiting everywhere because her balance is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 191

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 132