Today, I learned I have to kiss my career goodbye, all because I decided to give a colleague road head while he was driving to a company function. I was fired and arrested for indecent exposure. Now it’s all on my record and my Master’s in Early Childhood Education can basically be used for toilet paper. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML
Today, after spending 5 years working towards my dream job, getting it, and while in training telling a risqué joke, I got suspended the next day, lost the job, and I'm now in a shitty admin job. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my coworker, broke up with me. I agreed to stay professional and civil with him during our work hours. However, he decided to report me for "sexual harassment" and "stalking." He showed them the "evidence." I was fired. FML
Today, our boss announced several new training courses. For some reason, the guy next to me whispered in my ear that the only course he’s interested in is intercourse, with the boss’s daughter. The boss heard him but for some reason is convinced I said it. Suspended without pay, and possibly sacked. FML
Today, I found out I didn’t get a job because I'd flashed the owner whilst drunk. Guess my tits weren’t better than my resume. FML
Today, I dumped my coworker boyfriend because I caught him cheating with another coworker. He reported me for sexual harassment, and showed my boss the consensual texts we shared during our relationship. Turns out he edited them to make it look like I was the one “harassing” him. Sucks to be jobless. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
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Top comments
stickyface 17
Lick around and find out.
copalolita 17
For having a Master’s degree, you’re not very bright. You put the lives of other people on the road at risk because you wanted to be a h0rny slvt. It baffles me that you think you deserve an ounce of sympathy by posting your misfortune on here. You 100% brought this on yourself. YDI 100x tenfold
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Comments (4)
stickyface 17
Lick around and find out.
tiptoppc 21
She hit the taint, it seems…
copalolita 17
For having a Master’s degree, you’re not very bright. You put the lives of other people on the road at risk because you wanted to be a h0rny slvt. It baffles me that you think you deserve an ounce of sympathy by posting your misfortune on here. You 100% brought this on yourself. YDI 100x tenfold
stickyface 17
All this. Plus, I don't think I want this person educating the next generation.
BurnInDemonFire 39
No sympathy here. Learn your lesson and keep your mouth shut. Also your legs, in case you think that's a good idea. Basically, celibacy is the future you need and deserve.
idragosani 17
Road head? Didn't you ever see the movie "Parenthood"?