The Top

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Good one, Meemaw

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 113

My good boy

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is divorcing me because I refused to sign off on the paperwork to break our kids’ trust funds or mortgage our house in order to pay for surgery for his 12 year-old dog. Yeah, it’s not like our kids need a future or a place to live or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 196

Targeted vagueposting

By Craig - 04/10/2023 16:00

Today, a girl I rejected is making passive-aggressive posts, and posting stories with anti-dating quotes, and “Fuck love” and “All men are dogs”, making me look like an asshole. Am I an asshole just for having free will about who I date? FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 104

Not fair!

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 113

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 86

Just another day

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to buy oat milk and got caught in an active shooter lockdown at the store. Oh, America, the only place where plant-based dairy is more accessible than mental healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 133

Boundaries

By walking away - 11/07/2022 04:00

Today, my soon-to-be ex doesn’t understand why I get so pissed that he has to consult his ex-wife over every little thing we do, including needing her blessing for us to get engaged. It’s none of her damn business, yet he insists he’s merely trying to not hurt her feelings. Fuck him and her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 266

Never cross that line

By Anonymous - 17/10/2023 10:00

Today, my lesbian best friend told me she might be bi and wanted to try sex with a guy she trusts, AKA me. She eventually convinced me, but after we'd had 'weird best friend sex' she decided she’s a lesbian after all, and I “took advantage of her temporary confusion,” so we’re not friends anymore. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 156

Beliefs

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of disagreeing with a friend I'd known and cared about for 25 years. The disagreement? She wanted me to believe the exact same way she did. I treated her with dignity and respect for her beliefs, even though I didn't agree with them, but I didn't make that a requirement. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 109

By StillDrowsy - 09/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 222

You deserved it 7 381

Unappreciated

By Viscerion - 26/10/2023 06:00 - Australia - Adelaide CBD

Today, I'm unloved by my partner. She has not made love with me for one and a half years. On our anniversary two years ago, she told me we had nothing to celebrate, that I had achieved nothing in more than a decade we have been together. I lost 25 kgs and got a new job earning around 80K a year. Still nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 258

Living alone, but not really

By Anonymous - 21/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally have my own space and was hopeful that I would get to improve myself in different ways, personally… except that the thin walls contradicts my personal goal during this moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 143

Flirting Advice: Breaking the Ice

By FML Approved - 28/09/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

At least he's got an FML to share!

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 175

Context matters

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 00:00 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, my coworker tried to justify the overturn of Roe vs Wade by saying she had 3 kids and was able to do it. Yes, she was also married to their father for a few years, and when they divorced, the kids lived with him while she couchsurfed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 319

Advice wanted

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 06:00

Today, I feel underappreciated and unloved by my husband. I've tried to bring it up and show him my appreciation, but he responds with, "Well you haven't shown me appreciation or respect once in our relationship. If you feel that way that's on you." What do I do other than divorce? FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 578

Imposter syndrome?

By Anonymous - 23/07/2022 16:00

Today, it's been half a year that I've been having panic attacks whenever I close my eyes and go to sleep. I wake up everyday feeling guilty for not starting my work ahead of time. All throughout the day, I try to keep on working until night, because whenever I try to sleep, take a break, listen to music, or watch a series, I feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 187

Suspicious minds

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 16:00

Today, my girlfriend explained to me that when we have sex regularly, I'm in a noticeably better mood than when we don't have sex. Apparently, that means I'm immature, and she's questioning the value of our relationship. I thought it was normal for sex to make people happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 146

Yikes

By AAAAAAAAAAAAA - 11/07/2022 14:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 152

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 81

Cats hate Sundays

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 161

Boozehound

By not an alchy - 09/05/2021 19:59

Today, my boyfriend tried to confront me about my “drinking problem”. He claims that the last time he was at my place, I had a full bottle of rum and now it’s gone. He hasn’t spent the night at my house in over two months and it was a half bottle of Malibu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 131

0 to 100mph real quick

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 14:00

Today, I noticed I was starting to get a double chin. I’ve only just gotten to a healthy weight after a serious battle with anorexia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 128

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 04/11/2023 16:00 - Ghana - Accra

Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 523

Useless

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 96

On deaf ears

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 08:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I had breakfast with my roommate and he was so loud, my ears felt ready to burst. If I even suggest he needs his hearing checked, he erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. Everyone agrees, he has no "inside voice" and they don't know how to handle his near-shouting to your face either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 109

Don't mess with family

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 00:02

Today, it's 49 days until Christmas, and all I can think of is how it’s mine and my partner's first Christmas together but she’ll be out of town. Apparently, she’d rather hang out with her whackjob family rather than my normal, stable family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 199

Who are you?

By MotherNerd - 10/11/2023 18:00 - Netherlands - Halfweg

Today, we noticed some guy lurking nearby our house. In a few minutes, we saw that the TARDIS (the police box from Dr Who) replica that we built for our son in the backyard was on fire. This guy burned it because he "hates nerds." I don't even know him, he just saw the box somehow and decided to set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 115

Baby Shark goes on the road

By Katie - 12/11/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip. I spent a long while curating it, but when I hit the shuffle button, it started playing a bunch of annoying nursery rhymes. Apparently, I'd accidentally merged my list with my nephew's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 220

Quiet despair

By Anonymous - 13/05/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I got into an elevator with a really hunky guy. We exchanged polite greetings, then, for some reason, I tried to break the silence by saying, "Nice weather today, huh?" He nodded, but then I awkwardly continued, “Too bad we’re stuck in here.” He gave me a confused look as the doors opened right on cue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 473

Game on

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, myself and three friends went to a games night and we had to come up with a team name. Since I’m black and they’re all white, they insisted on “Interracial”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 105

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The Top

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 224

You deserved it 4 264

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 639

You deserved it 34 258

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 701

You deserved it 8 210

Today, while standing in line to get my driver's license renewed, I hiccuped and burped at the same time. I was so flustered that I ended up telling an entire room full of people that I had the 'herps'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 157

You deserved it 782

Today, I was blowing my husband when we heard that distinctive shutter noise, and we realised our daughter had taken a photo of us. Apparently, she meant to take a video because she knows a website where any kind of "spying on people having sex" video will earn her $50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 813

You deserved it 967

Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 219