The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 21 December 2024, 20:00 ·Port Ludlow, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Run for the hills

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years won’t marry me until all my debts are paid off, which will take me 10 to 12 years to do. To add insult to injury, he’s been using intimacy as part of a reward system for me, and no matter how hard I try to earn it and as much as I initiate like he wants, he keeps turning me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 504

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Anonymous · 21 May 2022, 06:00

Better off alone

Today, I found out the person I've fallen for is seeing someone else. This isn't a problem. What IS a problem is the fact that I asked her out before they even met, and was told she wasn't ready for a relationship. This happens every time I try to put myself out there and let myself feel anything for anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027 You deserved it 386

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Anonymous · 31 July 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

I think you should leave

Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 94

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Anonymous · 14 February 2021, 02:04

Heaven knows I'm miserable now…

Today, my friend is acting like a martyr over not wanting to get a job and guilt tripping me for having one. I mean, I hate my job but I also like my ability to pay bills, unlike some apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911 You deserved it 92

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Anonymous · 1 August 2026, 22:00 ·Portland, United States

Where is my mind?

Today, I spent minutes trying to open my apartment door before realizing I was one floor above my own. My terrified neighbor watched me struggle with my keys through their peephole the entire time, until he yelled "I'M CALLING 911!" and I realized where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142 You deserved it 301

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Socially awkward guy · 28 December 2024, 03:00 ·United States

Thanks Mom and Dad

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 4 August 2026, 09:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

Family

Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 90

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Renee Simard · 5 April 2022, 04:00

It's all too much

Today, I took a ring to be cleaned, and the jeweler offered to clean all my rings, so I gave them to him. When he gave them back, he said he'd polished all the scratches on the wedding band. The “scratches” were the remains of the original engraving on my dead father's wedding band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039 You deserved it 364

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Anonymous · 28 December 2024, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

People who live in paper houses…

Today, my husband forgot to unload his speargun after his fishing trip. There is now a hole in my ceiling I can see daylight through, and the forecast is for heavy rain tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509 You deserved it 105

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Anonymous · 6 August 2026, 20:00 ·Allentown, United States

Get the hell out of there

Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 112

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AwkwardNotCute · 6 April 2022, 04:00 ·Pomona, United States

Dating pool hell

Today, I tried instant online video dating for the first time, after not having much luck on other dating sites. The first date was kind of awkward, and "ended" with a kind of fade out and I could hear her chatting with someone else. "Hella awkward." Fair enough. "But was he cute? - No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 974 You deserved it 150

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Where are you?

Today, I tried to catch a spider with a cup. I missed, dropped the cup, and now neither the spider nor I know where the other one is. Spiders freak me out, but I was trying to deal with it humanely, so I hope it remembers that fact if and when we meet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · 18 February 2021, 13:58 ·Edison, United States

Booze don't cure the blues

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821 You deserved it 182

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poopface82 · 2 January 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Bad start

Today, after my girlfriend’s grandmother died over the holidays, both my kids are sick, my beloved aunt is on death’s doorstep and, to top it off, my car’s brakes are shot. I don’t know if I will ever not be stressed the hell out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 102

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Anonymous · 11 August 2026, 03:00 ·San Bernardino, United States

Simple plan

Today, I got a message from an old friend’s wife. She said they were having a reunion at their place and invited me to come. She spent the whole night trying to get me to hook up with him! She wanted out of the marriage and thought that if she could get him to cheat, she’d get a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 25 April 2022, 10:00 ·Brookline, United States

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893 You deserved it 183

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WhyMe · 3 August 2023, 00:02

Happy for you

Today, the guy I've talking to for the past 8 months just celebrated his six month 'anniversary' with his girlfriend. He picked her over me, but we agreed to be just friends. My feelings haven’t gone away, though. I can’t help but be jealous and depressed every time he posts about their relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230 You deserved it 1 016

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Kevin · 6 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

The price is right

Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 349

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Hannay · 13 August 2026, 20:00 ·Montreal, Canada

Gentry

Today, I bought a somewhat rundown house and started working on restoring it, cutting the grass, and doing exterior work. People from the neighborhood have asked me to stop, saying I'm "gentrifying" and "erasing the neighborhood character." I wasn't aware neglect and graffiti counted as character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 3 August 2023, 16:00

Haxxor

Today, I don’t know what’s worse, a hacker posting that I have cancer to my Facebook page, or that over 12 hours later not one of my family or friends rang or messaged to ask if it was true or not, except a distant auntie who liked the post 12 seconds after it was posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 16 August 2026, 09:00 ·Hyderabad, India

Arm day

Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 164

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Anonymous · 7 August 2023, 00:02

Regrets, I've had a few…

Today, I found out my husband cheated on me two months after our wedding (and two days before my birthday). The worst part is that he's my high school sweetheart and we've been together for 8 years. I should've known not to marry him, considering he cheated on me with his friend's mom. Now I miss a guy I never dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 1 168

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Anonymous · 9 January 2025, 15:00 ·Netherlands

Tennis

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 103

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DV. · 27 February 2021, 23:01 ·Copenhagen, Denmark

Judge not lest ye be judged

Today, my girlfriend and I, who are both heavy set, went into the pharmacy and asked if they sold any over the counter antidiarrhetic medicine. The store clerk, eyeing us up and down, said, “Uh, sorry, we don’t have antidiabetic medicine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026 You deserved it 305

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Anonymous · 23 May 2022, 16:00 ·Australia

Paranoia

Today, when I got up for work, I went into the bathroom and saw a coat hanger sitting in the crack of the window. I had a panic attack, thinking someone had tried to break in and grabbed a knife. I ran into the room where my boyfriend was sleeping and he said he put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640 You deserved it 305

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Anonymous · 11 January 2025, 22:00 ·Ironwood, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Getting dryer

Today, I (32F) tried to break a two month dry spell with my boyfriend of five years. He pointed out a cold sore on my lip. I never got cold sores before I met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · 20 August 2026, 20:00 ·United States

This is awkward…

Today, my brother and I spent almost $600 to plan and throw a divorce party for our mother. She proceeded to announce that she and our dad are staying together and that we completely jumped the gun. We deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 395

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lI. · 13 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Safe space

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my therapist and we were discussing my PTSD. He assured me that I was safe and no one would burst into the room. Just then, my mom burst into my room and started screaming about dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554 You deserved it 135

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Anonymous · 22 August 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Living my best life

Today, I sent my crush what I thought was a cute selfie. Two minutes later, she replied, “Nice waffle.” I checked the chat and realized I had sent her a photo of my burnt breakfast instead. She then asked if the black part was chocolate. It definitely wasn't. I have not opened that chat since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 344

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Good to know · 16 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Confused

Today, I found out that, despite the name, it is indeed possible to get swimmer's ear without ever actually going swimming. Am I dumb, or am I right to be confused? I suppose it could be worse, but… how? FML

I agree, your life sucks 309 You deserved it 154

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