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Can't catch a break

By Later! - 06/02/2026 03:00

Today, I’m a night-shift nurse and finally had a rare morning off. I set 3 alarms so I wouldn’t miss my dentist appointment. I slept through all of them, woke up at noon with my phone on 2% battery, and I’d missed the appointment. The reschedule fee is more than my hourly wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 113

Bit of a stretch

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 00:00

Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 64

Never enough

By Hyeg - 03/03/2026 03:00

Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 79

I'm fine, I'm OK

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 22:00

Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 62

Long term goals

By Anonymous - 08/03/2026 12:00

Today, my whole family called me ungrateful and my parents are threatening to ground me because I turned down an invitation to go with my extended family to Hawaii for spring break. I literally just started a new part-time job, but they won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 104

How about no?

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 00:00

Today, my parents told me that I'm going on our upcoming family vacation and that's final. I broke both my legs in an accident and have to use a wheelchair. I"m in constant pain and don't want to go anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 67

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 19/03/2026 03:00

Today, at my art school, during the class my teacher left the classroom. I stood up from my seat to ask my friend something. When I sat back down, one of my guy classmates was sitting there. I sat on his lap and right at that moment my teacher came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 126

Unreliable narrator

By CannaFox - 28/03/2026 00:00

Today, I always wondered how my younger sister maintained a good relationship with her dad, as she knows I was horribly abused by him for several years. Now, I found out that she “doesn’t agree” with it, and thinks it was all my imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 54

First day

By Henry - 29/03/2026 20:00

Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 349

A sneeze and a wheeze

By Pollensux - 13/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned that not only is it the peak of pollen season, but that it will be dry for the next two weeks at least, meaning there will be no rain to carry the pollen away. As someone who is severely allergic and can't take medicine, just kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 89

Lemon

By MVHIGH - 16/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I’ve realized I have paid $1700 on repairs for a vehicle that I’ve only have had for six months. I traded in my previous vehicle to avoid this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 69

FIXED

By Anonymous - 20/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish an essay. I submitted it one minute before the deadline. Later, I opened the file to double-check and realized I'd uploaded my rough draft, containing notes like “THIS PART MAKES NO SENSE, FIX LATER.” The professor then replied, “I agree with your assessments.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 413

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 21:00 - Canada - North York

Today, my first time having sex was in the back of her car in my university parking garage. We went for hours with people walking all around us not noticing, because we fogged up the car after a while. While I got out, I noticed my best friend with the biggest grin taking a picture of me getting out of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 362

I got lamped

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that all the allegations made against my father were false. I tried to apologize for not standing by him, but he punched me in the face and told me that he hated me. My nose is broken. I won't press charges because I know I deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 453

Schadenfreude

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I missed a single letter when reading the Bible at church. Instead of "Hope was rich with immortality", I said "Hope was rich with immorality." Nobody at the funeral noticed, except an anonymous FML user who tried not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 111

Chadvice

By I'm Sophia - 10/06/2026 18:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband was giving marriage advice to a friend, while I eavesdropped. I heard, "You want more sex? Let her see you flirting with other girls. Sophia sees me tease a cashier or some shit, the second we get home, she's putting on sexy lingerie and fucking my brains out. It's magic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 59

Bigmouth strikes again

By Ishouldnthavesaidthat - 15/06/2025 21:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 605

What happened next?

By Broke boy - 26/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 124

Night predator

By Gwen - 28/06/2025 16:00 - Russia - Rostov-on-Don

Today, I'm a 40+, aging, ugly woman with bad skin, and gaining weight. In the middle of the night, the cat landed on my face, clawing it so badly that it left actual scars. Just purrrfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 146

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I set a silent alarm on my phone for 6:30 AM so I wouldn’t wake up my partner. Problem is, I forgot to turn off “Do Not Disturb” mode, so my alarm never went off. I woke up at 9:30 AM, still in pajamas, and missed a meeting with a client. I'm avoiding my manager's calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 455

He's still a very good boy

By PaulineIsHere - 04/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent all day baking dog-safe cookies for my pup's birthday. He sniffed them, turned around, and started begging for one of MY processed garbage cookies from a store instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 245

Social media etiquette

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 525

Whatnot etc.

By Fucked - 07/09/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 56

Yummy

By Tuna ice cream - 09/09/2025 03:00

Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 382

Bad day, huh?

By AllWrong - 27/09/2025 03:00

Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 80

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 123

Stay outta this

By Gale - 15/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was having a heated argument with my boyfriend over the phone. Mid-sentence, I yelled, “You never listen to me!” Alexa, from across the room, replied, “I’m listening.” My boyfriend started laughing so hard that he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 319

Awks

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 03:00

Today, I told a woman at the gym that I “loved her confidence” because she was wearing the same bright leggings I’d been too nervous to wear. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks, they were my sister’s. She passed away last year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 113

In these times…

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 22:00

Today, I found myself trying to use AI to edit the only photo I have of the man who was the love of my life. I'd like to look into his eyes again and remember that feeling again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 195

Control

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 00:00

Today, my boss continued to orchestrate behind the scenes with my colleagues to make me look bad for her lack of organization. Then she showed up 10 minutes late to a meeting, shared that she needed a vacation, and realized that she needed to micromanage less. I've been asking her to make that change for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 789

You deserved it 7 654

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 334

You deserved it 65 399

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 10 773

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 072

You deserved it 58 946

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 308

You deserved it 4 992

Today, my girlfriend planned our day, she wanted to play FIFA before having sex. I won 11-0. She stormed out of the room, went home and isn't picking my calls / texting back. It's been 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 1 065